Sunday, December 29, 2013

Go Where the Lust Is

Everyone has their tastes and preferences, and while you’ve come a long way, there is simply nothing you can do if a woman doesn’t click with you on that instant, primal level.  Its there or its not, and if its not you need to respect that and leave it be.  However, it is important that you give yourself as much opportunity as possible to make that connection happen.

It is important to know who your potential audience is and make sure you’re as attractive and accessible to them as possible.  While you don’t have to take out a second mortgage for new clothes and other appearance enhancements, spending time on how you will look to someone you’re interested in is time well spent.  As we mentioned earlier, getting the suggestions of your women friends is always a good idea.  It’s easy, since women generally think men can barely dress themselves, so they are happy to give their suggestions.  Be smart and follow them, they know what they are talking about and you are getting the exact information you need. Get feedback on your most and least attractive physical assets, and take them to heart as we are all not very objective with ourselves.  You’ll have to enhance the positive and downplay the negatives.  It will feel odd and uncomfortable at first, but remember, if you want to be a Good Bad Boy, you will have to sacrifice some old ideas about how you should appear in the world to make yourself more attractive to a bigger slice of the female population.  The first impression you make on someone is your appearance, and while you could overcome a lack in appearance eventually with charm and panache, it’s far easier to look well turned out, and build your charming style on top of that. 

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve run into a very cute woman in my free time and began to engage her in conversation, but since I left the house unshaven or poorly dressed, I had to start from a weaker vantage point.  I had to work extra hard to overcome those negatives that I didn’t take a few minutes to address at home.  Ultimately, I overcame them, but why make a tough challenge even harder? 

Bottom line is you never know when you are going to run into a very special woman, so you should always be prepared.  It adds to you as opposed to having to counter something negative, so you’re working smart for yourself.

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Evolving as a Good Bad Boy

After spending some time practicing and interacting with women in the Good Bad Boy way, your level of physical and sexual confidence will increase significantly after a short period of time.  Women will still have many mysteries about them, but at least you’ll be much more aware and able to connect with them physically and sexually in a very confident manner. 

The knowledge you have learned and developed through practice and heightened awareness is precious and powerful.  What you have to also bear in mind is that there are a lot of responsibilities that come with this knowledge, and how you behave from here will say a lot about you, and whether you truly evolve into a Good Bad Boy.

Being a Good Bad Boy is much more than being an attentive, skilled and confident lover.  Be assured, those attributes are necessary and very valuable, but who you are and your attitude around all of it is every bit as important. 

While you may have caught the attentions of women in a special way, that doesn’t automatically make you Mr. Desirable to every woman that’s out there.   Guys in general are attracted to a wide range of women, whereas women are much more selective.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

More Mentality


The concept to understand here is the delicate but crucial balance of being a naughty seducer, a Bad Boy, yet providing an environment where a woman will feel safe with you, emotionally and physically.  This balance is Naughty AND Nice.  Your Inner Nice Guy provides the safe environment--you already know that drill--and the Good Bad Boy comes in and starts pushing buttons and turning dials with his lover and sees what results come from it.  Be playful with your words, but always try to enhance the moment, let her know you’re a Good Bad Boy in word and deed.  Getting her to confirm your observations on what a bad girl she is almost always is a good place to start.

Sometimes a woman wants no part of hearing what you have to say, it’s more a distraction than enhancement.  As with experimenting physically, there will be things that cause fireworks and things you say that will not work at all.  If this is the case, she’s not someone who responds to verbal play, so you’ll just have to explore further and find all those things that do get her really hot and bothered.  There are worse crosses to bear, believe me.

The biggest point of all of this is that there is a strong chemistry developing between the two of you, and your responsibility is to be observant, and act on what you discover.  As stated earlier, Good Bad Boys are always students, there is always more to learn, and keeping your mind open, a willingness to experiment and try different things will move you down the path of Good Bad Boy evolvement very quickly.  Just keep practicing, and learning and discovering.  This will be a very rewarding endeavor for you and the women in your life.  While it all may seem a bit much and you may feel clumsy at first, each time you will gain more and more knowledge, and your confidence and self esteem will grow.  You will feel great about yourself and learn to love flirting and knowing women more intimately. Try everything, and go with the flow and accept with grace what works and what doesn’t. 

Life will become very, very good.   
 

 

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Going Mental

Once you feel you are on solid ground from a physical standpoint, you have an opportunity to add a very exciting dimension to your interactions.  This is an area that can be hugely rewarding to experiment with by bridging the gap between the physical and the mental.  It’s often been said that the most important sex organ is the mind, so time to explore it. 

While you are doing your happy duty physically and she is writhing around from your skilled actions, there is a festival of fantasies playing around in her head.  It’s not that she’s disengaged from you; women just add this element for themselves, particularly when their heads are thrown back and eyes closed.  They are on their journey, in a hot space that their fantasy minds create.  Men usually are engaged on the sexual activity going on right in front of them, women rely more on what’s in their mind and body.  Sure, they go back and forth and check in on what’s going on in that moment between you and her, but it is usually to add fuel to the fire that’s already going on between their ears.  Now is a great time for you to not only join that fun party going on up there, but to make it even more of a turn on for her.

Adding to the mental aspect of sex is most easily done verbally, and being an added dimension, the stakes get higher, things are more challenging, but the rewards are greater as well.  So, as lovemaking is an art form, here is a chance to expand your creativity. As you become more comfortable with your physical lovemaking abilities, start experimenting with different dimensions, and the verbal aspect is the best place to start.  By engaging her in ‘conversation’ it will just add to the heat of things.  Avoid having this word play be anything deep or something she’ll have to think about replying to you don’t want her mind off of all the other fun things that are going on.  Remember, Less is More. 

The specifics of what the two of you say can be far ranging, but you can always start with statements such as “You’re a naughty little girl, aren’t you?” and other innocuous, yet spicy comments that will usually elicit a simple, breathy “Yes!” from her.  You want your words to add to the mix, not take over or get in the way of anything that’s going on. 

Try not to be cheesy about it, although if you say something that just has her bust out in laughter, which could easily happen, just laugh along for a moment, then get back to the physical matter at hand.  A little laughter together through this is a good way to connect, sex should be fun, and so many men take it so seriously and put huge amounts of pressure on themselves, and their partners. 

Do your part to keep the fun in it all.
 

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Hanging in the Sex Zone

Let things flow naturally, and take a lot of time doing this.  Also, you must learn how to be comfortable with the sensations in your body and not letting them overtake you.  One of the most pleasurable feelings I’ve experienced is being on the brink of orgasm – and staying there for as long as possible.  It’s hugely satisfying, almost as much as a climax and it lasts a whole lot longer.  I just relax, close my eyes and try to ‘get inside’ my body, just feeling everything, and thinking as little as possible, and maintaining a steady rhythm throughout. 

The key here is for you to find that ‘space’ that you can stay in physically, while all this sexually charged stuff is happening.  Once you arrive there, you will know it, and relax there for a long time and enjoy all that is happening, because this is the physical place where all skilled lovers spend as much time as they can.  However you do it, and there are as many ways to do it as there are men, get proficient at this as soon as possible.  Women value men who have sexual self control very highly and those boys that don’t are relegated to the slag heap of non-performers.  Become skilled at this and the woman or women in your life will be very happy with you.  A general Good Bad Boy rule is make sure you bring your woman to climax first, and then it’s your turn – ladies first, as any gentleman would tell you.  If she’s multi-orgasmic, lucky you and you’ll just have to wait until she’s had her fill of you – hardly a sacrifice.  You’ve worked very hard to get to this place that feels really good, in many respects.  Reward yourself by making it last as long as possible.  The rewards will be great.

This is just a smaller, self –knowing aspect of the bigger topic of physical knowledge.  You have already spent time finding out some of the physical places that turn a woman on, and getting to know your body more intimately and getting comfortable with it.  Now that a foundation has been established, just simply explore and experiment from there.  Try different things as an easy, natural extension of where you are at.  Sex is a big playground; find what works, and what doesn’t, between the two of you.  This is one fact finding expedition you will love to be on. 

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Good Bad Boy Tip #11

Firstly, breathe, and breathe deeply.  It is a relaxing technique, and being relaxed and unrushed, physically, mentally – in every manner – is the way to go. 
 
Next, take a lesson from women and focus on the journey, not the destination.  Men are overly fixated on getting to the point of climax, and they miss the opportunity of rounding out and expanding their sexual experience. 
 
Keep relaxing, and focus on where you are in the exact moment, and not where you want to be.  Keeping yourself in this headspace will have you last a long time, and I can assure you that will garner you more adoration than you can ever imagine.
 
Happy Thanksgiving!
 
 

 

Sunday, November 24, 2013

The Power of Physical Knowledge

A woman’s body and how it reacts to sexual stimulus, is one of the most fascinating subjects for a Good Bad Boy, and compared to a man’s body, it is a veritable wonderland of magic places.  Discovering them and learning to enhance the physical experience will be a very satisfying journey for the both of you. 

Men, in most respects are very linear and very happy to go from point A to point B in a straight line.  This is not how you want to interact sexually with a woman.  Women are much more circular, and the physical journey involved is very, very important.  Bear in mind, once a man climaxes, the party usually becomes a whole lot less interesting for everybody.  A Good Bad Boy will hold off his pleasure to make sure the woman he is with is fully satisfied. 

Taking the time to learn and then using that knowledge to bring a woman to sexual satisfaction, is the responsibility of all Good Bad Boys.  One shouldn’t get into the mindset that if a woman doesn’t orgasm, then you’ve failed. Sometimes it’s just not in the cards, but one should always be willing, ready, and able to do what is necessary to fulfill and satisfy the woman you are with every time you are with her.  Again, let everything flow naturally, do not rush, the last thing a woman wants to do when she’s with a skilled lover is rush to orgasm.  She’s having a fabulous journey and she wants the trip to last as long as possible, and in order for that to happen, you will have to be very good at physical self-control.

This is probably the biggest challenge and point of contention as far as sexual activity between men and women.  Most complaints that women have with men physically is that they do not last long enough for them to be sexually satisfied, and they almost never can express their disappointment with this, since it’s such a delicate topic.  This is unacceptable for a Good Bad Boy.  The Fragile Male Ego and all that nonsense needs to take a hike, and men need to learn how to properly use what nature has gifted them with.  Once again, here is an opportunity to differentiate yourself, and it is the most important way you can do it.  Learn self control. 

There are probably a thousand different ways of doing it, but whatever works for you, start doing it, and keep practicing.  Some men are lucky enough to have this ability naturally, but they are few and far between – just ask any woman.  In fact, probably the most important skill a male can have in the adult video industry is the ability to have self control, and to be able to orgasm for the ‘money shot’ on cue.  With practice, it can be done.  The practitioners of Tantric sex are skilled at this, and they spend years learning how to sublimate the physical urges that dominate a man’s body while in the middle of sexual activity.  You need not become a Tantric Master to be skilled at self control, but some of the characteristics we’ve already discussed should be employed here. 

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Still Listening?

When inviting a woman to communicate her desires and sexual wants to you, let her know that she can express anything she wants, that it is totally open and everything is up for consideration.  This will reinforce the feeling that it’s safe with you, that she can be herself and not be judged or have some strange reaction. 

You would be sadly shocked at how many women have not had their desires and needs adequately considered, and worse yet, how regularly they are sublimated to the male’s needs.  Do not participate in this imbalance between the sexes, any clueless male can, and does, proceed this way, and Good Bad Boys take the higher, evolved path.   Once more you can differentiate yourself, find out what really gets her sexual attention, and be willing to go forward with it enthusiastically. 

Of course, since you offered open communication, do be prepared for what may come back to you.  It would be unusual for things to suddenly turn wild or kinky, but in the realm of sex there are few limitations.  She may have a long harbored fantasy that no one has ever indulged her in, so be the first to do so.  This assumes, of course, that you do not do anything to harm yourself, or your stature, do not suddenly turn off the Good Bad Boy path.  If something strikes you as too scary or outrĂ©, just offer to revisit it at a later date after you know each other more, which values her desire but allows for things to progress more safely.  However, do be willing to stretch yourself.  If she wants to engage you sexually while you recite the poems of Shelly because it’s a huge turn on for her, by all means go for it.

Enriching your experiences only adds to your body of knowledge, and in the art of lovemaking, you always want to be a student.  Listening leads to learning and putting what you learn into practice builds a strong foundation of confidence.  While every woman is different, listening, learning and receiving from them the lessons they offer will enhance your standing with womanhood as a whole.  Besides, this is all supposed to be fun, so take the load off yourself.  Find out what it is that will drive your woman wild, and then do it. 

As this should be one of the more fun learning experiences in your life, share it with her, and make sure to reinforce that she can communicate her needs and wishes with you at any time.  You are just learning about her physically, and it’s very unrealistic for you to know every little nuance and place that will send her to the next level of heightened sexual pleasure.  She will tell you if you offer the invitation, so make sure you allow for that communication path.  It will enhance your connection, and you’ll be a much better lover as well, which is one of the most important goals throughout this process.
 
 

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Listen Up!

One sense we haven't discussed is hearing.  As it was previously in the throes of making out with her, you will need to heighten your sense of hearing, and really listen and sense what’s going on.  Every action you take will have some reaction, whether it’s mild or wild.  Listening to how a woman reacts to your sexual touch is crucial in learning what will work in terms of delivering ecstasy.  Your touch with your hands or mouth may be too firm or too soft, and the only way you’ll know is by listening and feeling to how she reacts. 

A Good Bad Boy knows and loves the fact that lovemaking is an art form.  While on the one hand it may seem very daunting and mysterious, it also reaps huge rewards for those that spend the time really learning the subtle nuances involved.  Being skilled in this art will win you much adoration among women, given you’re not a jerk about it (more about that later).  Since a lot of men really are not very good at this, it’s one more opportunity to separate yourself from the single male masses, which we’ve already established as an ongoing goal.  More importantly, you’ll feel great about yourself, and positive self-image and confidence really foster a positive upward spiral, and we want that to continue without end. 

So, as with any art form, practice as much as you can, and in this instance just take the opportunity and really spend time with her.  Let your body catch up with your racing mind, and get back in sync.  While you are learning with your hearing and sense of touch, do not hesitate to open up the channels of communication.  This is not the time for a conversation, but do let her know, briefly, that she is welcome to let you know anything that you can do that will turn her on. 

No one expects you to know everything, and inviting her to express what works for her lets her know that her pleasure is as important as yours, and you’ll continue to impress on her that it’s actually more important than yours – which it is, since it’s the key to many, many things to come, so to speak.  Her hearing that you want to please her in a way that she wants will only strengthen the bond between the two of you, and she will have a caring, considerate and unselfish lover in her bed, which is what every woman wants. 

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Good Bad Boy Tip #10

Spend extra time feeling, smelling, tasting – this is no time to rush.  View it as a sexual meditation, with all the deliberateness that goes with that. 

This will always work, and generally if a woman has reached the point where she needs more, she will usually let you know, and often times in no uncertain terms. 

Try to slow it all down – you will act more thoughtfully throughout and the sensual experience will last that much longer.  All good!

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Lovemaking as an Art Form

There is no point going into specific sexual techniques, you’re not fourteen anymore and it is important to develop a sense and style that is unique to yourself, and comes from inside of you.  Anything else will eventually seem totally fake or forced.   We will go over some concepts that will help set the tone and manner, but it is solely your responsibility to fill in the vast spaces that exist afterward.

Being a Good Bad Boy goes in stages, and each level involves more challenges, but there are consistencies throughout.  Firstly, be deliberate, slow, and even though you may feel inside that your body wants to go at a supersonic pace, being in control of yourself will reap you many rewards.  Women are very attracted to men that can control themselves physically.  You are quite clear on what you want, or at least have an inkling, but as with many concepts that have already been discussed, being counter-intuitive will once again be the course of action. 

By being selfless, attentive and tuned in with your partner, you will not only show that you are giving and willing to please, but you will also get exactly what you want – even if you’re not quite sure what that is yet!  

We touched on the power of anticipation, and being on the brink of sexual activity, all that anticipation is now rushing to your head.  However, from here on, everything becomes very interactive.  As with everything up to this point, your actions are predicated on having a woman at the peak of desire, and wanting you physically.  Once in the bedroom, make sure this concept stays intact, even when the clothes come off, especially when you’re with someone for the first time.  Savor it like the fine sensual experience it’s supposed to be, take it all in on all sense levels.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Becoming A Good Bad Boy

Now, if the two of you have decided to keep things more on the physical plane and are going straight off to bed, you can check in later in the week, since we're addressing holding off sex for the moment. 

Firstly, give yourself credit for taking an evolved route in honoring how you feel inside.  Also, realize that by valuing feelings over sexual relations with your date, you have most likely made a very great and favorable impression with her.  She likely will want to see you again as soon as possible, but there is no rush, all the sexual activities will take care of themselves.  You are now in a very detached, but powerful place of knowing you’ve done everything the Good Bad Boy way, and that you can now enjoy the anticipation of the next encounter with her.  Have fun, but do take it in and learn from your actions, as they are the actions of a man in touch with his feelings, not a boy reacting to what his hormones are screaming at him, and that will always be viewed in a very positive light by the kind of women you want to spend a lot of time with. 

So, we’ll fast forward a bit, if you’ve held off, you now are down the road, have had another date or two (which you are much more skilled at by now) and you have reached the point again where there is a lot of heavy breathing, furious, passionate kissing and clothes starting to go the way of the four winds. 

As before, do not take anything for granted and do not assume that just because you held off before that the both of you will automatically tumble into bed.  Again, Good Bad Boys are skilled at having a woman reach the point that they want to have them, so keep gently, but respectfully, pushing the envelope.  Be more sexual in subtle degrees, unbutton her top, gently push her legs further apart and reach higher onto her thighs – just keep gently upping the ante. 

Again, no obvious touching, save that for when you’re both naked, which should be very soon.  The suggestion of it all right now is much more powerful than doing it, having her thinking about sex with you is the most powerful aphrodisiac there is.  At some point you both will be ready to explode, and it will be time to head to the bedroom (or whatever room you choose) and take your interactions to a significantly higher level. 

When you’re ready to cross that sexual threshold, just look at her, and say something fun and naughty in a Good Bad Boy way.  Something along the lines of ‘are you ready to show me what a naughty girl you are?’ will suffice, and then take her by the hand and lead her off to the bedroom. 

Or, she just as easily may not wait for you and lead you off on her own, lucky fellow.

Saturday, November 2, 2013

The Path Much Less Travelled....

If on the other hand you find at this early juncture you are willing to roll the dice and commit your attentions to this woman only, that you’re not even interested in pursuing other women (it happens!), then you have another route to take.  You are at the same stage as above, all hot and bothered and on the verge of heading off to the bedroom.  Every sexual cell in your body will be screaming at you to get down to it, to honor your primal urges and get physical as soon as possible, but you must not listen to them. 

Once again, stop slowly, pull back, look her in the eyes and let her know how you would like to proceed.  Let her know that you find her very, very attractive, that you want nothing more than to take her off to the bedroom and ravage her.  Hopefully she’ll be nodding in agreement.  Then let her know that, as much as you want her physically, you want to get to know her better, to establish more of an emotional foundation with her before you have sex with her.  Let her know that you want to wait for a little bit. 

She will likely be very surprised by this; you may be the first man in her experience that has ever suggested holding off on sex when the opportunity was there before him. Make sure you reiterate at this time that you really want her sexually, that she is very sexy, beautiful, that this is hard for you to do but it is the right action given how you feel.  This way she won’t feel rejected, or that it’s about her appearance. Ask her if that’s okay with her.  She may be a bit bewildered; this would be new territory for a lot of women.  She’ll agree, hopefully, and you can kiss her and thank her.

It is important to realize how powerful this course of action is. Firstly, as a Good Bad Boy, you’ve honored how you feel within, and obviously you wouldn’t take this course of action if you didn’t feel strongly about it, and her. Secondly, you have taken a route that she has probably little, if any experience with. You have separated yourself from the rest of the single male pack – far, far away. You have put how you feel about her, how you want to be connected with her, in front of having sex with her. Men will rarely choose this path given the circumstances. You have established a standing with her in a way that few, if any, men have done before. You have demonstrated in the most powerful way that how you feel is more important than your carnal desires. You have shown that you feel she is worth waiting for. All of these will deepen her regard for you, and you will establish a deeper place with her – instantly. And most importantly, by holding off sexual activity in favor of getting to know her more, you have turned the Flames of Anticipation into an inferno.

Of course you may have done such a great job getting her all hot and bothered that while she agrees with and acknowledges your feelings., she simply wants you now, no matter what. You can go either way now, sex or no, with a clear conscience. You will now move forward as only a Good Bad Boy would, and should.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Timing and Taming Desire...

This is someone you enjoy being with, and want to continue seeing, and get to know more intimately – you shouldn’t even be at this point if this is not the case.  So, respect, honesty and caring are in order right now.  You may want to take the next step and be sexual with this woman – assuming she’s ready for that with you, but you still want to keep your options open.
Many, many men have this huge fear that if they tell a woman that they want to be physically involved with her, but you’re not ready for full blown commitment, or you don’t want to have strings attached, that women will flip out, be hurt, and you’ll be shown the door, and you will have been a Loser/Bad Guy.  The only way someone gets hurt is if you don’t honestly state your intentions.  Again, Good Bad Boys work from the inside out, and are true to themselves.  One of the biggest revelations I had with women was when I communicated for the first time that I wanted to have sex with someone I had just started seeing, yet I still wanted to keep things open.  Not only was she fine with it, it is how she wanted to have things as well.  She appreciated the honesty; it wasn’t something she experienced before, and all the pressure was off and we could enjoy ourselves.  The important aspect is how you go about it. 
           Assuming that you’ve encountered no red lights from her at this point and there is a lot of heavy breathing and clothes are starting to come undone, you can slowly stop, pull back, look her in the eyes as you let her know what you are bringing to the table. If you’re going the ‘no strings attached’ route, just let her know how much she excites you and that you want to take her to your bedroom.  She may not hesitate for a moment, or she may balk, wanting to feel a bit safer.  Let her know that it’s not the time and place for a big ‘relationship talk’, but you do want to connect with her on a physical and sexual level. 

           You add that you are willing to let the situation go wherever it’s supposed to go, which includes commitment.  There are no rules or expectations, just let nature take its course. Don’t get into a big talk fest or discussion, you will kill the excitement.  Just reiterate that while you are happy to go to bed with her, she is still free to go and live her life anyway she wishes without having to run it by you.  If you do say that, you must also insert a little self-deprecating humor, like saying ‘not that you needed my permission’ or something worded along those lines, and say it in a joking manner.  It will help the previous statement seem much less arrogant, lighten things up, and at this point you’ve acted in a responsible manner and are free to go to the bedroom, assuming of course, she’s on the same page with you. 

          It is very important to remember that women like sex just as much as men, and often want to pursue it, but they like anyone else do not want to feel like they are being used or taken advantage of.  If you give the impression that you’re only interested in sex, not only are you unlikely to get any, any Good Bad Boy will tell you that you don’t deserve it as well.  Desire the person, the rest will follow in its own time.    

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Stay Focused!

Since the territory you’re now entering is a lot trickier, you’ll likely get feedback more quickly, and that is both good and bad.  You may, as you are kissing away and exploring with your hands, delicately drop one of your hands to her lower inside thigh, and very slowly, subtlety, but deliberately, push her leg apart from the other, and hold it there, keeping her legs slightly apart. Or, you may slowly move your hand from her ribcage after a while, and run your hand over one of her breasts, and gently grasp it your hand, a delicately firm grasp, sexy but intentional.  There is no doubt that both of these actions have an overtly sexual undercurrent to them, and as before, her reactions will determine how you proceed. 

She may react in a manner that you’ve hit a physical boundary and going any further will do much more harm than good.  If that’s the case, you need to respect this boundary, back off, and gently whisper in her ear that you’re sorry, but you couldn’t help yourself with her so close – or something of that flavor.  It will get you back on track, but do be clear that you’ll have to pursue the sexual component more slowly, and it is a likely possibility tonight is not going to be the night for it. 

If she continues to be excited by your skilled touch and her breathing and utterances continue to indicate moving in a forward direction, by all means, keep doing what you’re doing--Don’t stop and think!  You may want to rush things and get to the main stage, but you will make much deeper inroads by being cool, controlled, and deliberate – not reactionary to your hormones.  Just spend more time stoking the fire and try to keep cool.  Time will take care of itself, whether its tonight or another night soon.  Regardless, in a moment you may have a decision to make. 

Things are now at the brink of becoming sexual – or not.  The difficulty here is gauging the situation, the moment and the people involved and trying to get a sense on it, and unfortunately there are no hard and fast rules here, since each situation has a chemistry all its own.  First and foremost, be clear on where you want to go from here. We discussed earlier about having a feel as far as what direction you wanted to go with your date, whether you wanted to have her as someone you date casually, or someone you want to explore more deeply on a one on one basis. 

Regardless of which direction you prefer to go, there is a vitally important item to handle at this moment.  If you are willing, ready and able to have sex with this (or any woman), you now have the responsibility to effectively communicate what a woman can expect from you emotionally.

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Being Naughty and Nice

The challenge now is in the physical realm, there are stimuli and reactions going on multi-dimensionally, and you’ll have to be aware of several different things at the same time.  You’ll have to keep kissing her, and using your hands to stoke the flames of desire that are building.  The key indicator on all of this is how she is reacting to what you are doing.  When you touch a certain place, in a certain way, if it elicits a short gasp, or a soft moan, you need to file this information away and know that you’ve hit a hot spot.  Remember that spot on her neck you kissed and how you kissed it – and expand on it.  Linger there for a little bit, but move on and find others.  Guys are terrible multi-taskers, so showing you can handle several things at once again enhances your stature.  The wonderful, yet challenging aspect of exciting a woman is that what drives one woman crazy may not work on another.  It’s all part of a Good Bad Boy’s knowledge base, start from the beginning every time and find what works with this woman. 

Start with the areas already described as a foundation and build from there.  It is important at this stage to really be cognizant of what she is doing, how she is reacting to your kisses and touch.  Any rapid breathing, exclamations of excitement – many women will just come right out and say “Yes! More!” when you’ve found some special place – Expand on what you’re doing well, and drop those actions that are not getting a response.  After some time, which may seem ages, things will reach a plateau, and you’ll feel it.  Everything in nature is cyclical, and the two of you getting hot and bothered on the couch is no different.  Either the ante has to be upped, or the music stops.  You’ll now be a little more adventurous with your play. 

There is no magic timeframe for this, you can get more sexual in 10 minutes or you can be kissing away on the couch for hours, the key is how she is reacting determines that.  A woman can get completely fired up and will either express her desire to go to the bedroom, demand that you go there, walk toward the bedroom leaving a trail of her clothes along the way as a not so subtle hint or say nothing and grab you by the collar and drag you off.  Suffice to say, those instances, although they do happen, are in the minority, so once again it’s on you to turn the heat up.

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Keep Moving.....

Do not paw at her, or be all over her body on a constant basis.  The idea is to touch and feel – not grab.  As always, Less Is More, just have a firm, but subtle touch in a few different places, be easy, natural, and not in any rush at all.   Do not start rubbing away at obvious erogenous zones, you will kill the moment instantly, as well as being viewed as puerile for doing it, which will send your stock plummeting. 

Communicate physically that you know what you are doing, are confident, and that there is no rush or pressure.  This is the key concept here, and what is amazing is that each woman is unique, so you get to approach each woman as a blank canvas. 

Every woman has her ‘hot spots’, and when you find them, you will move things forward nicely to your goal of her wanting you.  The talent lies in finding those areas.   This is a true treasure hunt, but be mindful that different techniques work for different women.  A Good Bad Boy loves nothing more than discovering the nuances that make a woman go into overdrive.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Make That Move.....

Once you reach this point, things will become easier and more natural and you – luckily – won’t have to think as much.  However, getting a woman to this point is no mean feat. 

So, you are now comfortably sitting at the couch, you’ve expressed your dessert preference, and you are kissing her, in the pronounced, sexy manner that you’re getting better at by the minute.  There now will come a few more dimensions to deal with physically, so you’re level of awareness of what you are doing – as well as how she is reacting to it, needs to rise accordingly.  Your kissing technique now needs to expand, and your kissing should start to gently, slowly move from her mouth, down to her chin, and along to her neck.  Most women will respond quite well to you kissing their neck (unless they’re really sensitive or ticklish there) and this particular piece of a woman’s body and how a man can utilize it to heighten her excitement level can fill a book all by itself.  It is very sensitive, so start with a gentle touch with your mouth and tongue, slowly and deliberately, and experiment with different pressure, gentle kisses on her neck, a little pressure on the jugular with your lips.  There is a treasure trove of sensations here, so have at it and explore.  You will know from her reactions as to what is working and what is not.

While you are kissing her, you will need to have your hands be more active.  There will now be more moving parts to the seduction process, but as an art form, it’s time to progress to the next plateau.  Be subtle with your hands, but purposeful.  A couple of very good places are having a hand on her ribcage, thumb in front, and having some firm pressure there.  Just have a good solid hold of her there, don’t squeeze too hard, or move around too much, it can be a ticklish area.  Another great spot is on her thigh, not too high up though!  Again, a firm but not overbearing grip- part of what you want to communicate is that you are physically strong, but have a developed sense of touch, and know how to touch a woman, in the right places and in the right way.  Explore the small of her back this way; there are almost always hot switches there.  Use the same approach in running your fingers through her hair while kissing her, and gently hold the back of her head while gently pressing your mouth on hers while kissing – it will enhance the feeling that she’s has no choice but to kiss you, that you are overpowering her, forcing her.  Remember, you want to enhance the fantasy of this feeling, if you actually tried to physically force her to kiss you your evening will end abruptly and badly.  The distinction with a woman is that she goes to that fantasy place of her own volition, you are just helping her get there with your actions, that she feels safe to go there. 

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Good Bad Boy Tip #9

What is so difficult for most men to grasp here is how to drive the situation forward, yet stay out of making the decision, or forcing the issue.  

The crucial idea to be aware of is that in reality, sex will happen only when a woman is ready for it, and not any sooner.  This is how it always should be, and is the only way a Good Bad Boy will have it anyway, because he knows at that point everyone is going to get what they really want. 

This is a key point in the evening, and the perfect time to let go of any preconceived expectations. 

You have already had a flirty, sexy dinner with a very attractive woman, so you’re ahead of the game.  If you expect more, it will come across to her in some manner or word and sooner or later and she will resent the expectation of sex, as any woman would and should. 

A Good Bad Boy is generous and gives without any expectation of sexual recompense.  He has no reason to, and takes all the pressure off a guy feeling he has to get something back on his investment of time and effort. 

The reason why is a Good Bad Boy already knows how to make that happen, he is skilled at how to have a woman reach the level of her wanting to have sex with him.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Temperature Rising

Although it may feel like years will pass before dinner ends, it will end soon enough, and then be a good host and collect all the dishes and such and throw them in the wash sink, dishwasher, garbage, wherever your dishes go, and get on to the next phase.  This is where things will get to be more fun, and you get to emerge as a Good Bad Boy.  It is now time for dessert!

Once you have the dinner plates out of the way, or if you’ve been out to dinner, make sure you get close to her as you ask the next question.  Look her straight in the eyes, and in a playful, but leading manner, ask her what she wants for dessert.  Don’t be cheesy about it, just straightforward, and flirtatious.  You’ve sent a volley her way; let’s see what she does with it. 

Now, a Good Bad Girl (that’s another book) will usually come back with the simple reply of ‘You’ or something along those lines or even better just kiss you first.  If you get either of those responses, consider yourself very lucky and move to the next phase of the evening.  However, as often is the case, you’ll lead the way, and build the fire.  She may actually want a real dessert, so have some chocolate concoction on hand, or order what she wants from the waiter as soon as possible.  Let’s assume that to not be the case and she’ll probably defer to you as to what to have for dessert, and of course, your response will be an emphatic ‘You!’, at which point you will kiss her purposefully, and do it for an extended period of time.  Then, get the check and find a taxi or get your car as soon as possible and get home – you have chocolate cake waiting at your place.  However, if you were smart enough to make dinner, you can now lead her over to your comfortable couch, where the lighting is low, the music is nice and you can move on to the next part of the evening.

This is where many a man has floundered and fallen.  Here is the tricky area of potentially having sex with a woman, and being the nice guy you’ve always been, you don’t want to do anything too forward, creepy or weird.  However, the conundrum is that a woman will expect you to lead her to the point of sex, but ultimately the decision to move forward will depend on her having a comfort level with you--feeling safe with you--which depends on several factors. 

Monday, September 9, 2013

Inner Clarity

Let’s take a moment here and discuss an important topic that could have a significant impact on what direction the evening goes. 

You can be sure that since your date for the evening has agreed to dinner at your place or wherever the next date location is, she is interested in pursuing things further with you and often with women that can involve an emotional component.  That isn’t the case every single time, blanket statements always are dicey when discussing relations between the sexes, however, it’s a good approach to assume that there is that interest on her part, at least for the moment.  Now it is time for you to check in with yourself on this topic.  Women are much better than men as far as being in touch with how they feel, generally they’ll know if they want to sleep with a man within a few minutes (not that they would do it that quickly, silly, they connect on a deeper level) but this is an important time to consider where you are with this person in this regard. 

This isn’t about making a decision on marriage or anything as far-reaching as that, but you should have a sense at this point if the woman coming over for dinner is someone you’d like to date on a regular basis or you feel this will be a more physical, ‘friends with benefits’ type of situation.  Just spend some time with that thought, and get in touch with how you feel.  Once you have a good sense, file the information away.  You’ll need to remember it later, maybe even later this evening.

This thought process is important because it will help to differentiate between being a Good Bad Boy and being a Loser.  Women love a Good Bad Boy and they loathe a Loser.  It is vital you know what the differences are, as they may not be that obvious.  Some of the differences have been touched upon earlier, but as things progress between a man and a woman, the stakes get higher and higher, and it is important to be more diligent on this topic as things intensify.  We’ll get back to all this in just a short while.

So, at this point let the evening progress naturally, be comfortable and yourself, relax and let things flow.  Where many men get tripped up is having a big fat agenda in their heads, and letting it run the show.  Yes, we all know there is an agenda there, and she is aware of it as well as anyone else.  The important concept is to put it aside and not let it interfere.  Just relax, chat and act totally as if your intentions are as pure as the driven snow.  Obviousness is not sexy almost all of the time.  Get to know this person, show genuine interest and deepen the initial connection you’ve both established and progress it to the next level.  Expand on the subjects you spoke of the last time, and spend time getting a sense and feel of the woman you’re entertaining.  Take pleasure in the evening by staying in the moment, enjoying your dinner and being engaged in interesting conversation.  There is no substitute for practice, so just get in there, and start listening, asking those questions, building on the earlier concepts we spoke of.  Keep being flirtatious, smile and stay connected. 

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

The Power of Your (In)Actions

Now, please don’t become all full of yourself because you have a sexy, attractive woman coming over your place for dinner, and you think the cat is in the bag.  You have a lot of challenging, hard work ahead of you, and your choices will determine how relations between the two of you will progress--or not. 

Your job now is to create a totally seductive evening, and that means making favorable impressions on all her senses.  Your place has to look good, smell good--do your laundry- the dinner you cook should be tasty as well.  Don’t pick anything exotic or gamey or raw seafood, keep it simple and within your skills; chicken and pasta dishes are always a good idea. 

In asking her over for dinner, you were sharp enough to ask if she has a favorite dish, and assuming it’s not too difficult and soufflĂ©s are not involved, go ahead and make it.   Unobtrusive music will help with the aural aspects of the evening, and lastly, but most importantly, you save the touching and feeling for later.

Plan everything ahead of time leading up to her arrival. Making a nice, but simple meal will help, as complicated dinners with lots of moving parts are difficult to coordinate, and the last thing you want is her showing up while you’re trying to tame a culinary monster.  However, you do want to show off a little, so save the last parts of cooking dinner for when she’s there so she can see you at work in the kitchen. 

Women love seeing a guy doing the work in the kitchen, they often spend a lot of time there, so it’s fun for her to do the watching and be waited on for a change.  All you need to remember is her seeing you handling things in the kitchen will continue to add to your attraction factor.  Hand her a cocktail or glass of wine as you finish your cooking chores and ask her how her day was, and engage in conversation.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

A Welcoming Space.....

Make sure your place is clean, well presented, a romantic little escape that she’ll be happy to come to.  Candles and low lighting always helps, and playing unobtrusive mood music like jazz or other instrumental music helps set a nice tone for the evening.  A woman will appreciate that you have a nice place for her to go to, someplace that’s far removed from your fraternity house or college dorm days.  Women, when they first come to a guys place are always sizing it up to assess his taste.  Again, rely on the help of others more knowledgeable that you and take a trip to the local Target or Ikea, and pick a few key pieces and accessories. The money you spend now will pay off in dividends for a long time to come.

As stated earlier, you’re more than welcome to take her out to an expensive meal or club; however the amount of distractions and noise in those choices could make it difficult to communicate and ultimately work against your goals.  There is also one huge advantage to cooking dinner for her at your place that hopefully has occurred to you already.  By having her accept your hospitality, you’ll have gotten her to your home, which means you’ve taken care of one of your biggest challenges for the evening before it even begins.        

Sunday, August 25, 2013

The Good Host

Now, you may be challenged even when it comes to boiling a pot of water, but a quick visit to any of the cooking websites on the internet will reveal a lot of simple recipes, or you can hit your favorite search engine and put in the keywords “cooking, bachelor, clueless” and it should take it from there.  And, and I’ve heard it said from someone much smarter than I in this regard, that “if you can read, you can cook”. 

Women are used to getting taken out to nice dinners, and that’s great, but the effort put forth by cooking a dinner for her means much, much more.  Anyone can pay a dinner tab, taking the time to cook something she will enjoy is only going to enhance your stature and mystique, and further the concept of you being a little more unique among the dating masses.  Don’t ever forget you are always looking for ways to differentiate yourself from the hordes of single guys out there, and this is one excellent way to do it.

Of course, you may have to ‘de-bachelorize’ your living quarters, and enlisting the help of a female friend, or significant other of one of your buddies is strongly recommended.  You just may be too attached to your lighted Chicago Cubs Wrigley Field wall clock to know that it needs to be put away for this particular evening, as well as many other possessions you feel are precious, that will compromise your stature as a Good Bad Boy. 

Obviously a thorough scrubbing is in order if needed, and that means  dusting as well.  A trip to the local newsstand and flipping through a few design magazines should give you an idea of at least the direction your place should be heading.  Don’t go crazy spending hundreds of dollars giving your living quarters a makeover, but spending the time making it a place where a woman will be comfortable and enjoy spending time will be worth all the effort you put into it.