Sunday, October 27, 2013

Timing and Taming Desire...

This is someone you enjoy being with, and want to continue seeing, and get to know more intimately – you shouldn’t even be at this point if this is not the case.  So, respect, honesty and caring are in order right now.  You may want to take the next step and be sexual with this woman – assuming she’s ready for that with you, but you still want to keep your options open.
Many, many men have this huge fear that if they tell a woman that they want to be physically involved with her, but you’re not ready for full blown commitment, or you don’t want to have strings attached, that women will flip out, be hurt, and you’ll be shown the door, and you will have been a Loser/Bad Guy.  The only way someone gets hurt is if you don’t honestly state your intentions.  Again, Good Bad Boys work from the inside out, and are true to themselves.  One of the biggest revelations I had with women was when I communicated for the first time that I wanted to have sex with someone I had just started seeing, yet I still wanted to keep things open.  Not only was she fine with it, it is how she wanted to have things as well.  She appreciated the honesty; it wasn’t something she experienced before, and all the pressure was off and we could enjoy ourselves.  The important aspect is how you go about it. 
           Assuming that you’ve encountered no red lights from her at this point and there is a lot of heavy breathing and clothes are starting to come undone, you can slowly stop, pull back, look her in the eyes as you let her know what you are bringing to the table. If you’re going the ‘no strings attached’ route, just let her know how much she excites you and that you want to take her to your bedroom.  She may not hesitate for a moment, or she may balk, wanting to feel a bit safer.  Let her know that it’s not the time and place for a big ‘relationship talk’, but you do want to connect with her on a physical and sexual level. 

           You add that you are willing to let the situation go wherever it’s supposed to go, which includes commitment.  There are no rules or expectations, just let nature take its course. Don’t get into a big talk fest or discussion, you will kill the excitement.  Just reiterate that while you are happy to go to bed with her, she is still free to go and live her life anyway she wishes without having to run it by you.  If you do say that, you must also insert a little self-deprecating humor, like saying ‘not that you needed my permission’ or something worded along those lines, and say it in a joking manner.  It will help the previous statement seem much less arrogant, lighten things up, and at this point you’ve acted in a responsible manner and are free to go to the bedroom, assuming of course, she’s on the same page with you. 

          It is very important to remember that women like sex just as much as men, and often want to pursue it, but they like anyone else do not want to feel like they are being used or taken advantage of.  If you give the impression that you’re only interested in sex, not only are you unlikely to get any, any Good Bad Boy will tell you that you don’t deserve it as well.  Desire the person, the rest will follow in its own time.    

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Stay Focused!

Since the territory you’re now entering is a lot trickier, you’ll likely get feedback more quickly, and that is both good and bad.  You may, as you are kissing away and exploring with your hands, delicately drop one of your hands to her lower inside thigh, and very slowly, subtlety, but deliberately, push her leg apart from the other, and hold it there, keeping her legs slightly apart. Or, you may slowly move your hand from her ribcage after a while, and run your hand over one of her breasts, and gently grasp it your hand, a delicately firm grasp, sexy but intentional.  There is no doubt that both of these actions have an overtly sexual undercurrent to them, and as before, her reactions will determine how you proceed. 

She may react in a manner that you’ve hit a physical boundary and going any further will do much more harm than good.  If that’s the case, you need to respect this boundary, back off, and gently whisper in her ear that you’re sorry, but you couldn’t help yourself with her so close – or something of that flavor.  It will get you back on track, but do be clear that you’ll have to pursue the sexual component more slowly, and it is a likely possibility tonight is not going to be the night for it. 

If she continues to be excited by your skilled touch and her breathing and utterances continue to indicate moving in a forward direction, by all means, keep doing what you’re doing--Don’t stop and think!  You may want to rush things and get to the main stage, but you will make much deeper inroads by being cool, controlled, and deliberate – not reactionary to your hormones.  Just spend more time stoking the fire and try to keep cool.  Time will take care of itself, whether its tonight or another night soon.  Regardless, in a moment you may have a decision to make. 

Things are now at the brink of becoming sexual – or not.  The difficulty here is gauging the situation, the moment and the people involved and trying to get a sense on it, and unfortunately there are no hard and fast rules here, since each situation has a chemistry all its own.  First and foremost, be clear on where you want to go from here. We discussed earlier about having a feel as far as what direction you wanted to go with your date, whether you wanted to have her as someone you date casually, or someone you want to explore more deeply on a one on one basis. 

Regardless of which direction you prefer to go, there is a vitally important item to handle at this moment.  If you are willing, ready and able to have sex with this (or any woman), you now have the responsibility to effectively communicate what a woman can expect from you emotionally.

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Being Naughty and Nice

The challenge now is in the physical realm, there are stimuli and reactions going on multi-dimensionally, and you’ll have to be aware of several different things at the same time.  You’ll have to keep kissing her, and using your hands to stoke the flames of desire that are building.  The key indicator on all of this is how she is reacting to what you are doing.  When you touch a certain place, in a certain way, if it elicits a short gasp, or a soft moan, you need to file this information away and know that you’ve hit a hot spot.  Remember that spot on her neck you kissed and how you kissed it – and expand on it.  Linger there for a little bit, but move on and find others.  Guys are terrible multi-taskers, so showing you can handle several things at once again enhances your stature.  The wonderful, yet challenging aspect of exciting a woman is that what drives one woman crazy may not work on another.  It’s all part of a Good Bad Boy’s knowledge base, start from the beginning every time and find what works with this woman. 

Start with the areas already described as a foundation and build from there.  It is important at this stage to really be cognizant of what she is doing, how she is reacting to your kisses and touch.  Any rapid breathing, exclamations of excitement – many women will just come right out and say “Yes! More!” when you’ve found some special place – Expand on what you’re doing well, and drop those actions that are not getting a response.  After some time, which may seem ages, things will reach a plateau, and you’ll feel it.  Everything in nature is cyclical, and the two of you getting hot and bothered on the couch is no different.  Either the ante has to be upped, or the music stops.  You’ll now be a little more adventurous with your play. 

There is no magic timeframe for this, you can get more sexual in 10 minutes or you can be kissing away on the couch for hours, the key is how she is reacting determines that.  A woman can get completely fired up and will either express her desire to go to the bedroom, demand that you go there, walk toward the bedroom leaving a trail of her clothes along the way as a not so subtle hint or say nothing and grab you by the collar and drag you off.  Suffice to say, those instances, although they do happen, are in the minority, so once again it’s on you to turn the heat up.

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Keep Moving.....

Do not paw at her, or be all over her body on a constant basis.  The idea is to touch and feel – not grab.  As always, Less Is More, just have a firm, but subtle touch in a few different places, be easy, natural, and not in any rush at all.   Do not start rubbing away at obvious erogenous zones, you will kill the moment instantly, as well as being viewed as puerile for doing it, which will send your stock plummeting. 

Communicate physically that you know what you are doing, are confident, and that there is no rush or pressure.  This is the key concept here, and what is amazing is that each woman is unique, so you get to approach each woman as a blank canvas. 

Every woman has her ‘hot spots’, and when you find them, you will move things forward nicely to your goal of her wanting you.  The talent lies in finding those areas.   This is a true treasure hunt, but be mindful that different techniques work for different women.  A Good Bad Boy loves nothing more than discovering the nuances that make a woman go into overdrive.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Make That Move.....

Once you reach this point, things will become easier and more natural and you – luckily – won’t have to think as much.  However, getting a woman to this point is no mean feat. 

So, you are now comfortably sitting at the couch, you’ve expressed your dessert preference, and you are kissing her, in the pronounced, sexy manner that you’re getting better at by the minute.  There now will come a few more dimensions to deal with physically, so you’re level of awareness of what you are doing – as well as how she is reacting to it, needs to rise accordingly.  Your kissing technique now needs to expand, and your kissing should start to gently, slowly move from her mouth, down to her chin, and along to her neck.  Most women will respond quite well to you kissing their neck (unless they’re really sensitive or ticklish there) and this particular piece of a woman’s body and how a man can utilize it to heighten her excitement level can fill a book all by itself.  It is very sensitive, so start with a gentle touch with your mouth and tongue, slowly and deliberately, and experiment with different pressure, gentle kisses on her neck, a little pressure on the jugular with your lips.  There is a treasure trove of sensations here, so have at it and explore.  You will know from her reactions as to what is working and what is not.

While you are kissing her, you will need to have your hands be more active.  There will now be more moving parts to the seduction process, but as an art form, it’s time to progress to the next plateau.  Be subtle with your hands, but purposeful.  A couple of very good places are having a hand on her ribcage, thumb in front, and having some firm pressure there.  Just have a good solid hold of her there, don’t squeeze too hard, or move around too much, it can be a ticklish area.  Another great spot is on her thigh, not too high up though!  Again, a firm but not overbearing grip- part of what you want to communicate is that you are physically strong, but have a developed sense of touch, and know how to touch a woman, in the right places and in the right way.  Explore the small of her back this way; there are almost always hot switches there.  Use the same approach in running your fingers through her hair while kissing her, and gently hold the back of her head while gently pressing your mouth on hers while kissing – it will enhance the feeling that she’s has no choice but to kiss you, that you are overpowering her, forcing her.  Remember, you want to enhance the fantasy of this feeling, if you actually tried to physically force her to kiss you your evening will end abruptly and badly.  The distinction with a woman is that she goes to that fantasy place of her own volition, you are just helping her get there with your actions, that she feels safe to go there.