Sunday, July 28, 2013

Yes, It's That Important......

The first kiss is as important as anything in the Seduction Universe; it is a glimpse to everything physical beyond it.  If you are a good kisser, you will save yourself a lot of time and effort.  As you are in the throes of this first kiss, do not rush, do not think, just let everything flow.  If done right, time stands still while you’re kissing. 

You are feeling, interacting, responding to what the woman is doing physically.  Mix it up and change pace, pressure, pull back and do small gentle kisses along the perimeter of her lips, suck gently, or firmly on those lips and then gently go back in deeply for more.  This is truly an art form, so enjoy it, and explore.  You will have to work to define your own kissing style, but I can assure you practicing this will be great fun. 

Kissing is so important, and so overlooked in the dating realm, every guy is in a rush to get to the pot of gold.  Pace yourself, in the end the tortoise won the race from the hare and the same principles apply here. 

If you’ve really kissed a woman properly, after a few minutes you will gently break your kiss and she should be in slight daze, breathless.  In an old cartoon, stars or bluebirds would be circling her head. 

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

The First Kiss

Lets assume at the end of this first date that a woman wants to show her interest physically, which is an exquisite stage.  There is a lot at stake here, so a few suggestions might help.  Be very natural; don’t come at her like a great white shark with your jaws wide open about to chomp on some prey.  At the other end, don’t keep your mouth too tight either, no one likes the feeling that they’re kissing a desk, or have to bore their way in like they’re drilling for oil.

You should just meet lips, be firm but not overbearing, feel and kiss with your lips a little bit and then slowly penetrate her mouth with your tongue and meet hers as well.  Be firm and exploratory, not too soft or wishy-washy.   You’re the guy; you should be firm, strong and confident.  Mind you, these are just suggestions and general parameters, there is no ‘one perfect’ way to kiss.  Feel the interplay with your partner, and let it flow.  Luckily, doing it well covers a range, so you get to put your own personal touch to it. 

One of my personal preferences is to find a wall, or some other fixed object (parking meters work great!) that I can gently push a woman against so I have her pinned, unable to escape as I kiss her, leaving her little choice but to receive it.

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Go Where You Are Wanted!

If for any reason when trying to kiss a woman for the first time she doesn’t respond in kind, gently pushes back from your embrace, turns her head while you try to kiss her, quickly and politely pecks you on the cheek, or any other indication that she is not ready or willing to give or receive a significant good night kiss, just accept it and back off, and wish her a good night upon parting. 

Any of these indicators show a lack of physical interest on her part, and you do not want to go where you are not wanted.  For whatever reason, she’s not interested in engaging with you physically, and that is a sign to call it a day with her and move on.  It was a nice evening, enjoy it for what it was, and realize that the number of women that you will truly connect with is significantly smaller than the number that will pass on being with you.  Trying to overcome any hesitation or perceived lack of interest with this person is time and effort wasted. 

Good Bad Boys know that they deserve and desire to be with a woman who is attracted to them from the start, and who do not play games in regard to expressing that.  The realm of dating and connecting is hard enough; having someone being inconsistent in their perceived desire from the start is a significant red flag.  Call it a night and look elsewhere.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Kissing and Keeping Your Balance

Hopefully at this point there has been a lot of fun banter, and there is a mutual attraction and some electricity is flying about in the air.  You’ve accomplished a lot in this evening, and you should realize it is not a small feat.  However, all of your smart conversations, attentions to her words, flirtations, eye contact and smiling back will all go right down the drain if you cannot put the capper on the evening.  Whether you met her at the restaurant, or you are now about to drive her home, you will pick out that proper moment to show her that the evening was fabulous, that you desire her and you want to move your interactions to the next step.  You will kiss her goodnight, and be aware that a woman can tell everything sensually and sexually about a man from that first kiss.  You will show her in your kiss goodnight everything she needs to know – and can’t wait to find out about more.

It is a clear truth that a whole lot is riding on that first kiss, like it or not.  This will never change, so it’s very important that you become really skilled at kissing.  You already know if you are, so if you have any doubts, or just aren’t sure, then you should assume you need work here.  This is just one of those skills that you will know when you have it down.   
The first challenge is the moment.  It will be completely on you to make it happen, don’t even think about a woman making this first move, you are expected to do it and will be judged on it, so accept the challenge and excel at it.  If you arrived at your meeting place separately walk her to her car, or to where the parking valet is, or if you picked her up, walk her to her door.  As you approach her car, or are waiting for her car to arrive, or are standing at her front door, let her know just how much you enjoyed the evening and that you would like to see her again, soon.  You’ve already performed this task when you first met her and asked her out on the first date, so this should not be a big challenge at this point. 
If there has been a nice connection between the two of you, she should concur that she enjoyed herself and would like to get together again as well.  Then, say something that acknowledges the connection, something like ‘great, I’m very happy we’re both on the same page’ or something along those lines, put your own personal flavor on it.  Then gently reach out and put your arms around her waist, and slowly pull her close to you, and look her straight in the eyes as you approach to kiss her....




Wednesday, July 10, 2013

You Can Actually Say No

At this point you’ve spent good time and effort on making yourself appear more attractive to women, and it’s very important to realize that while dating is a boulevard fraught with hazards, it is also a two way street.  You deserve to have some of this effort come back to you as well. 

If during the evening you’re finding that no matter what you say, or what topics you’re covering, or all the efforts you’re making are just not getting anywhere, respect what’s going on in front of you. Much more often than not, people just do not connect, and if you get that feeling inside--and the truth is always inside you- that this date is just not panning out, just be polite and let the evening ride itself out.  Nothing good will come from forcing the situation, if it’s not there from the get go, it’s highly unlikely it will show up down the road. 

Men have that instant trigger as to whether they want to sleep with a woman or not, and too often it guides our actions.  Women often feel that desire as well, the difference is that they generally don’t let it guide them.  For whatever the reason, there is just not enough in common, you have differing opinions on pets, she couldn’t possibly date an Aries, and so on, there is nothing you can do or say to make a situation that is not meant to happen work. There’s even the radical concept that despite the beauty of the woman you’re out on a date with, after speaking with her for a time, you’re not attracted to her anymore.  Trust your body (except the penis, of course!) it generally knows when to move forward and when to move on--listen to it. 

You will be very surprised at how positive you will feel for taking care of yourself by listening from within.  The empowerment you will experience from honoring yourself by declining to extend an evening with a woman you’re not connecting with, regardless of looks, will feel fresh and rewarding; you will not hesitate to do it again when called for.  Good Bad Boys take care of the women in their lives by making sure they take care of themselves first. 

Just remember there is amazing empowerment that occurs when you say No – in a polite, gentlemanly way, of course.

Saturday, July 6, 2013

The Importance of Being You

Despite your focus on your date, bear in mind a singular goal in becoming a Good Bad Boy is being comfortable with who you are, and being comfortable in what you say and do.  Yes, you have to be attentive to the words and actions coming your way on a first date, but more important is the idea of maintaining your stature, being truly authentic to who you are and fully being yourself. 

Women have an uncanny ability to interpret subtext, and if you’re phony in your words and actions they pick it up fairly quickly.  Bear in mind, attractive women have heard every song and dance line ever uttered under the sun before you showed up, so you have nothing to lose and everything to gain by being straight and honest.  You also would be shocked by how many women find the flaws in men attractive – it makes you more human. 

You are spending time feeling things out on a first date, and certainly we all want to have an attractive woman be attracted to us.  However, that is no reason for you to go against who you are.  Do not be afraid to communicate your opinion if it differs from your date, you have a right to feel how you feel.  What does matter is how you express it.  Be respectful as to where she’s coming from, just as you want to be respected yourself.  Don’t be combative, it’s just an opinion, so be matter of fact about it. 

Trying to gain favor from someone by constantly agreeing with them will backfire, sooner usually rather than later, and a sharp woman will be suspect if you don’t have opinions of your own, it shows a lack of strength. Obsequiousness is distasteful, and more importantly, this lack of intestinal fortitude will be viewed as weak, and that’s always unattractive. A woman may not agree with what you have to say, but assuming your opinion isn’t disrespectful, she should honor it.  Show her who you are, there is nothing to be afraid of. 

Sending out the message that you are comfortable with who you are is something that women will find much more attractive than you trying to impress them by being a ‘yes man’.  Every guy has done that before and failed.  Show you’re different and that you’ll be fine whether she likes you or not.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Honesty vs. Honesty

Let’s discuss an important distinction for a moment.  There is no doubt that being honest is paramount, all Good Bad Boys know this.  However, there is a key difference between being honest and being frank.  I once heard a great definition on this, that frankness is honesty without the kindness. 

Fellows in relationships and marriages negotiate these tricky waters often, usually when posed with the no-win query of “does this make me look fat”, or “how does this look” when a significant other is trying on new clothes.  You can’t lie, that will be picked up, but you can be diplomatic. Being frank is to be avoided at all costs, there’s meanness underneath it that you never want to be associated with.

No-win questions usually involve getting your opinion on something that’s of particular importance to her.  Be advised that this is territory filled with booby traps, and it doesn’t matter whether the motivation is intentional or not.   Good non-committal responses to any of these landmines could be “that’s interesting” “I’m not sure”, “let me think about that one” or “I don’t know, what do you think”, and there is also great value in saying nothing and just smiling.  This way your date knows that you generally won’t bite on those questions, so she may not ask again.

You do not have to rush in and rescue someone of their particular insecurity at that moment.  In fact, as a rule, it’s a good idea not to do it at all in the realm of dating.