Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Honesty vs. Honesty

Let’s discuss an important distinction for a moment.  There is no doubt that being honest is paramount, all Good Bad Boys know this.  However, there is a key difference between being honest and being frank.  I once heard a great definition on this, that frankness is honesty without the kindness. 

Fellows in relationships and marriages negotiate these tricky waters often, usually when posed with the no-win query of “does this make me look fat”, or “how does this look” when a significant other is trying on new clothes.  You can’t lie, that will be picked up, but you can be diplomatic. Being frank is to be avoided at all costs, there’s meanness underneath it that you never want to be associated with.

No-win questions usually involve getting your opinion on something that’s of particular importance to her.  Be advised that this is territory filled with booby traps, and it doesn’t matter whether the motivation is intentional or not.   Good non-committal responses to any of these landmines could be “that’s interesting” “I’m not sure”, “let me think about that one” or “I don’t know, what do you think”, and there is also great value in saying nothing and just smiling.  This way your date knows that you generally won’t bite on those questions, so she may not ask again.

You do not have to rush in and rescue someone of their particular insecurity at that moment.  In fact, as a rule, it’s a good idea not to do it at all in the realm of dating.          

No comments: