Sunday, October 26, 2014

The Good and Bad of Being Mr Nice Guy

Is there a cure for nice guy-itis? Not really, but that is not a bad thing. What is important to bear in mind is that you will need to start from scatch. The typical 21st century male needs to begin the process of becoming a Good Bad Boy by first re-learning what interacting with a woman – as an adult – entails.

In the beginning of this process being a Nice Guy is quite important. We'll expand on that later, but for now be aware that all of your words and actions from the start send a clear message - both good and bad. So, you need to be hyper aware that sending the clear message from the start that you are a guy that really cares about women is essential. This is the foundation of the Good component of the Good Bad Boy, and without it, you will never gain the attentions of all the sexy, smart, beautiful women out there.

Being a Nice Guy is great, if you want to be good friends with a woman, and nothing more. However, women usually already have plenty of friends, and they are more often looking to a man to be her man. This means knowing the balance and timing of being a Nice Guy, and then when to be a Bad Boy, and it will involve some practice. So....where do you start?Let's be clear about one thing from the onset - being a good, decent guy is very important. I've stated this before, but it cannot be overstressed. You must have this component, or else you will never have anything everlasting with the best women in the world. 

Sure, you can be a real Bad Boy, a guy who is really attractive to women with his rebellious and anti-establishment ways. However, he is a comet, and intense light that burns breifly and then disappears forever. You want to last. The way to last with a woman is for her to always think fondly of you. Nice guys can do that - and you do want to last, don't you?

The first thing you must do is to Stop Thinking. Yes, I didn't mistype that. When it comes to women men are always thinking with the wrong head. If you are a guy really dedicated to do whatever it takes to attract the attentions of the really smart, sexual women out there, you must start the process of becoming a Good Bad Boy by first re-learning what interacting with a woman – as an adult – entails.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

A Little More on Cluelessness......

In discussions with many women, all of them agree that men do not meld the Bad Boy with Mr. Nice Guy. Either they are decent men who don't know how to properly light their fire, or bad guy loser types who know how to excite a woman but behave badly in every other regard. When I offered that what they were seeking was a nice, decent, wonderful guy they could count on who knew how to be a bad boy in intimate situations, every one of them emphatically agreed. All of them indicated this was something they keenly desired in their initial encounters with a man - and certainly beyond that.
There are many things lost in the translation from Venusian to Martian, but the aspect of how much a woman would love for her guy to be a bad boy is something that simply does not occur to most men. Forget the true bad boys, they are not redeemable - this information is for all those decent guys out there who are dying to know how to excite the women in their lives and willing to do whatever it takes to please them, since that will make their confidence soar. And, of course, all the women, so they can get what they REALLY want!

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Why Is It That Men Have No Clue What Women Really Want In A New Partner?

In the past I would always be dumbfounded by how the lovely, sexy women that I knew in my life would always seem to end up in relationships with bad guys that I knew weren't very good - not the caring, respectful guy that I was! I was a decent, attractive enough guy, but never could seem to easily get the intimate attentions of women.

I started asking the women I knew about this and they spoke of the allure and raw attraction of a Bad Boy, but how treacherous they were to deal with due to their general emotional unavailability, among other unsavory attributes.

I spent a lot of time after that pushing back the boundaries of my Nice Guy and letting the Bad Boy inside me get much more presence in intimate situations - experimenting - which was a revelation to me with wonderful results with women. It became obvious after a short while that there was a huge gap between men who were Nice Guys and those who were Bad Boys.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Why You're Clueless

Let’s be fair, most men never had any kind of an effective sexual mentor in their formative years to provide the elusive Rosetta Stone of Women. Some had an evolved sister or mother sit down and try to explain what relating with girls would be all about. While this may sound ideal, masculinity, not fostered at least partly by a male mentor, will flounder, as will this man’s efforts at engaging women in a confident manner.

Other unfortunate souls have suffered a time honored rite of passage - the oppressive ‘birds and bees’ talk with a Neanderthal Dad. Many times this talk trumpets the merits of being a “man’s man” and not to be too emotional or sensitive. Unfortunately, this could resurface years later in the form of emotional unavailability, lack of communication of feelings and other difficulties stemming from a general bewilderment on how to act around the female half of the population.

Worst of all is the “classroom on the corner,” where the collective sexual unconsciousness of the neighborhood boys conspire to thwart any possibility of evolving a young male’s sensual awareness to any healthy degree. Here all the rumors, innuendo, myths and urban legends involving girls that have been gleaned from media stereotypes have significant sway. Music videos, men's magazines, television and film, soft and hardcore pornographic magazines and videos as well as other sources continue to foster an unrealistic standard of women’s looks, appearance and sexuality.

With this as a source of sexual education, it’s easy to see where boys physically grow into men, yet often remain boys emotionally when it comes to dealing with their female counterparts.

So, where does a clueless guy go from here?

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Now You Know, So Let It Go

We’ve discussed many aspects of being a Good Bad Boy, but the most important one is being true to who you are.  You never want to compromise yourself, do anything you don’t really want to, or be reactive to the people or circumstances surrounding you. A huge part of what makes a Good Bad Boy so desirable is his solid sense of self.  This separates the men from the boys.  While women are more than happy to have a dalliance with a boy, being with a man is where the gold is.  You will rarely be able to connect with a woman on a deep level if you do not carry yourself as a man and behave accordingly.  Leave the boys and their behavior to the girls of the world.  You’re in this for much more rewarding pursuits, and being with a sexually open woman, as opposed to a girl who is sexually inexperienced and uncomfortable, is where you will always head to.

At the beginning of this journey you were likely someone who had desires and fantasies about how you wanted to interact sexually with women, but it seemed as accessible as jumping onto the surface of Mars.  Now you are clear on who you are and what you want with the women in your life.  You now can state your desires in a very palatable and seductive manner and not only have them heard and acknowledged, but more importantly have them fulfilled on a regular basis.  As the fulfillment of your desires becomes more a part of your normal existence, the feelings that you would never get what you wanted sexually and that you had no power in this area or with women in general will disappear for good.  Your confidence and self esteem will soar, yet throughout you are grateful and humble that you received the gift of this knowledge.  You are cognizant that by being of service honoring the women in your life physically, emotionally, spiritually and simply being there for them, you also honor yourself as a man.

Now that you have all this heightened awareness, it is time to let it go.  I’m sure you’re wondering exactly what I’m talking about, and let’s be regular guys one last time and use a sports analogy.  In golf, you practice, practice, practice until your arms are ready to fall off, and when it’s time to get on the course and play the game for real you must let all the thinking disappear.  All that muscle memory must take over and the natural swing rhythm comes from somewhere deep within.  I know every time I do a lot of thinking when I’m in the midst of a golf swing the results are almost always poor.   Being a Good Bad Boy is the same.  You’ve taken in all these points, and practiced trial and error and have reached a point where you have more than a clue on how to go about all of this.  Of course, you’ll have to think when trying to come up with a good reply or other conversation, but on the physical levels, it’s time to let the natural rhythms you’ve developed take over from within.  It always amazes me how the best golf shots seem to come from very little thought or physical effort.  They come from within.  As a Good Bad Boy expresses himself from the inside out, let everything come from within, naturally, without forethought or provocation.  Eventually it will be as if you have a neon sign over your head, visible only to women in the world, quietly glowing ‘Good Bad Boy’ with a flashing arrow pointing down to you.  The world will forever be a changed place.
When you first started this journey, the thought of speaking to a woman in the tones discussed above, or to act in such a bold and sexual manner probably didn’t even exist in your mind, it was so foreign.  The point is now you know better; you know the power of behaving this way in an appropriate manner, and the rewards it will reap.  You are only just finding out that there are many women out in the world that are hoping that today is the day they finally run into a guy who knows his stuff sexually, yet is humble and knows how to treat a woman like a woman – across the board.  A guy who knows when to romance a woman and seduce her slowly and when to push her up against a wall and bring out the inner bad girl that she’s been dying to let out, yet no man has been able to coax it out of her properly.   A man who pushes the boundaries and doesn’t hesitate to be spontaneous, naughty and adventuresome, yet at all times making sure the woman is right there with him.  You’ll know for certain when you’ve reached full Good Bad Boy status – you will never have to think of yourself that way, since the women in your life will be calling you a Good Bad Boy for you, just before they fall into your arms so you can do with them as you will – in that manner that only a Good Bad Boy knows how to do.

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Assume Nothing!

It is very important to realize that just because you’re committing to a deeper relationship doesn’t mean that you’re going to prison.  Like everything else, a committed relationship has its plusses and minuses.  As mentioned earlier, having the attentions of a lovely, decent woman who thinks you’re the greatest thing since the invention of the wheel is one of the most valuable things you’ll ever have in your possession.  Being committed does not mean you stop being a Good Bad Boy; you just have to make your adjustments. 

Hopefully a big part of why you’re in this relationship is that you share a lot in common, particularly when it comes to things in the realm of naughtiness.  Being true to yourself is always a big part of the Good Bad Boy way, so now you just have to be a Good Bad Boy that is committed.  There’s nothing wrong with that at all.  You still love women; still love flirting with them as you have before.  As long as you reassure your partner that all your flirtatious behavior is not a reflection on how you feel about her, that no matter what you do you view your relationship with her as more important than anything. 

It is important to discuss with her what the boundaries are as far as behavior. You may be very surprised as what will be ok with a woman, particularly one that has a Good Bad Boy as her significant other and feels that her relationship is solid.  Remember, it was noted earlier that one of the most important things to a woman is emotional safety.  She loves that you’re a Good Bad Boy; she doesn’t want that to change.  She may be very turned on by hearing how while you were out picking up some milk from the store and almost picked up a cute woman while you were there as well.  Maybe next time she’ll want to go with you to see you in action!  Who knows – you’re only limited by what the two of you define as boundaries. 

There is a Good Bad Boy friend of mine that is very happily married but of course takes the opportunity to flirt with a sexy woman whenever he gets the green light to do so.  However, being a Good Bad Boy he would never lead a woman on, so he always makes sure to make mention of his wife shortly into the conversation. 

Most of the time that brings the flirtation to a quick but polite halt, but he has mentioned that is not always the case!  Some women he has flirted with want to get to know him better, and when he mentions that he would never do anything without his wife, the adventurous woman offers that she’d like to meet her as well, so that there are no roadblocks and they can continue the flirtation.  There are LOTS of open minded, adventurous women out there, so don’t limit yourself by making assumptions. 

Just be a Good Bad Boy and be honest, and express how you feel.  Just because you’re committed or married doesn’t mean the fun stops.  All it means is that you have to handle things differently, because you now have different responsibilities.  Maturity has its rewards!

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Becoming the Good Bad Boyfriend/Husband

As time goes on and you travel further down the Good Bad Boy Path, you will have many wonderful experiences with many fabulous women, and if you stay on this path, you will earn a place in each one of their hearts, whether or not your relationships with these women are short or long term.  Every connection has its own time span, whether it lasts seventy minutes or seventy years.  The natural evolution of a Good Bad Boy at the end of all those cumulative experiences is to focus all that special knowledge on one very lucky and deserving woman.  Sooner or later the seduction process, while a very satisfying experience, runs its course. 

It’s an inevitable part of maturing, whether you have had your fill of it at 30 or at 50.  From my experience and observation, men that are still not in committed relationships and pursuing and trying to seduce numbers of women into their 40’s and 50’s are not ever going to mature, and therefore have zero chance at becoming a Good Bad Boy.  What their commitment issues are I’ll leave to the psychologists, as our focus is on becoming the kind of man women adore, and ultimately become the object of  adoration for one woman.  The important thing to remember is, as a Good Bad Boy, you need to be with someone who appreciates and loves who you are and while she wants all that fun attention turned her way, does not want to change the tiger’s stripes.  Equally important for the Good Bad Boy is to be with a woman who not only appreciates who he is, but brings her own special attributes to the relationship.

Myself, I’m a very fortunate fellow in that the woman I’m with is beautiful and brilliant with a science PhD.  There were many men that vied for her attentions that she could have chosen to have been with.  Men with more money, more powerful careers, higher intelligence and so on.  This is not to say I don’t hold my own in all those departments, I do, but they had little to do with her selection. 

She initially was attracted by my look, but as we all know there needs to be more than that for things to last more than 5 minutes – at least in any relationship that matters.  There are numerous times when I describe her to acquaintances who wonder how I ended up with someone of such significant substance.  I just shrug my shoulders and toss up my hands in a ‘beats me’ type of way and joke that she hasn’t come to her senses yet.  All joking aside, what kept her close was my Good Bad Boy demeanor – letting Mr. Nice Guy have his place and being a Bad Boy when the time was called for.  Apparently I also keep her in a state of perpetual amusement, but I think she just tells me that to make me feel less of a sex object.