Friday, December 12, 2014

The Nice and The Bad

It’s no secret that women want to have a nice guy in their life. A fellow that they can rely on - shows up on time, calls on the phone regularly, listens, brings flowers, is caring and so on. The all-around Mr. Nice Guy. Most decent males, unless they grew up on Neptune or were raised by a wolf pack, already have a pretty good idea about this.

However, here’s where most guys trip up - Mr. Nice Guy generally doesn’t get a woman hot and bothered. He’s important to a woman everywhere except the bedroom. By now it better be obvious that the goal is being important to a woman in every room in her house, with as few restrictions as possible.

In discussing this with women, most agree that men generally do not merge the Bad Boy with Mr. Nice Guy. Most men are either one or the other, which many times leave women with a frustrating choice. Either there are decent men who don’t know how to properly light their fire, or bad guy loser types who know how to seduce and excite a woman but behave badly in every other regard, which is certainly not of interest here.

As discussed earlier, the lack of effective education and communication on how to interact with girls can be pointed out as a culprit. A lot of guys grow up watching too many movies where a tough, Clint Eastwood type character who barely communicates any sentiment always gets the stunningly attractive woman. Add to that the media stereotypes of musicians, athletes and other celebrities with glamorous models on their arm, and boys get the notion that being cool, aloof, and difficult to communicate with makes them a Bad Boy that girls will find completely irresistible.

That leaves the unhappy dynamic of unscrupulous Bad Boys being unable to connect with women, and because of their misconceived aversion to performing nice deeds this leaves them unable to connect with the opposite sex on a meaningful and powerful level. The perceived notion is that being ‘cool’ is omni important, and being nice to a female compromises a guy’s stature at being cool. More than likely this comes from the perception of peers, since healthy women will be repelled by this attitude.

Unfortunately, a lot of the boys in this group grow into men with these misconceptions and fail to examine their own behavior, often blaming the woman for any lack of connection, communication or understanding. This is part of the foundation of a lot of unacceptable Bad Boy behavior, and while all the sexual allure stays intact, ultimately this fellow gets labeled as complete emotional trouble, and should be avoided at all costs. 

Nice Guys will do whatever is necessary to acquire a Bad Boy persona, but the Bad Boys who behave poorly will almost never be interested in the Nice Guy characteristics.

Hopefully you begin to see the importance of the balance between Good and Bad.

However, it is a balance, and next we'll look at the problems of being good all the time.....



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