Sunday, October 20, 2013

Stay Focused!

Since the territory you’re now entering is a lot trickier, you’ll likely get feedback more quickly, and that is both good and bad.  You may, as you are kissing away and exploring with your hands, delicately drop one of your hands to her lower inside thigh, and very slowly, subtlety, but deliberately, push her leg apart from the other, and hold it there, keeping her legs slightly apart. Or, you may slowly move your hand from her ribcage after a while, and run your hand over one of her breasts, and gently grasp it your hand, a delicately firm grasp, sexy but intentional.  There is no doubt that both of these actions have an overtly sexual undercurrent to them, and as before, her reactions will determine how you proceed. 

She may react in a manner that you’ve hit a physical boundary and going any further will do much more harm than good.  If that’s the case, you need to respect this boundary, back off, and gently whisper in her ear that you’re sorry, but you couldn’t help yourself with her so close – or something of that flavor.  It will get you back on track, but do be clear that you’ll have to pursue the sexual component more slowly, and it is a likely possibility tonight is not going to be the night for it. 

If she continues to be excited by your skilled touch and her breathing and utterances continue to indicate moving in a forward direction, by all means, keep doing what you’re doing--Don’t stop and think!  You may want to rush things and get to the main stage, but you will make much deeper inroads by being cool, controlled, and deliberate – not reactionary to your hormones.  Just spend more time stoking the fire and try to keep cool.  Time will take care of itself, whether its tonight or another night soon.  Regardless, in a moment you may have a decision to make. 

Things are now at the brink of becoming sexual – or not.  The difficulty here is gauging the situation, the moment and the people involved and trying to get a sense on it, and unfortunately there are no hard and fast rules here, since each situation has a chemistry all its own.  First and foremost, be clear on where you want to go from here. We discussed earlier about having a feel as far as what direction you wanted to go with your date, whether you wanted to have her as someone you date casually, or someone you want to explore more deeply on a one on one basis. 

Regardless of which direction you prefer to go, there is a vitally important item to handle at this moment.  If you are willing, ready and able to have sex with this (or any woman), you now have the responsibility to effectively communicate what a woman can expect from you emotionally.

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