Thursday, November 21, 2013

Still Listening?

When inviting a woman to communicate her desires and sexual wants to you, let her know that she can express anything she wants, that it is totally open and everything is up for consideration.  This will reinforce the feeling that it’s safe with you, that she can be herself and not be judged or have some strange reaction. 

You would be sadly shocked at how many women have not had their desires and needs adequately considered, and worse yet, how regularly they are sublimated to the male’s needs.  Do not participate in this imbalance between the sexes, any clueless male can, and does, proceed this way, and Good Bad Boys take the higher, evolved path.   Once more you can differentiate yourself, find out what really gets her sexual attention, and be willing to go forward with it enthusiastically. 

Of course, since you offered open communication, do be prepared for what may come back to you.  It would be unusual for things to suddenly turn wild or kinky, but in the realm of sex there are few limitations.  She may have a long harbored fantasy that no one has ever indulged her in, so be the first to do so.  This assumes, of course, that you do not do anything to harm yourself, or your stature, do not suddenly turn off the Good Bad Boy path.  If something strikes you as too scary or outrĂ©, just offer to revisit it at a later date after you know each other more, which values her desire but allows for things to progress more safely.  However, do be willing to stretch yourself.  If she wants to engage you sexually while you recite the poems of Shelly because it’s a huge turn on for her, by all means go for it.

Enriching your experiences only adds to your body of knowledge, and in the art of lovemaking, you always want to be a student.  Listening leads to learning and putting what you learn into practice builds a strong foundation of confidence.  While every woman is different, listening, learning and receiving from them the lessons they offer will enhance your standing with womanhood as a whole.  Besides, this is all supposed to be fun, so take the load off yourself.  Find out what it is that will drive your woman wild, and then do it. 

As this should be one of the more fun learning experiences in your life, share it with her, and make sure to reinforce that she can communicate her needs and wishes with you at any time.  You are just learning about her physically, and it’s very unrealistic for you to know every little nuance and place that will send her to the next level of heightened sexual pleasure.  She will tell you if you offer the invitation, so make sure you allow for that communication path.  It will enhance your connection, and you’ll be a much better lover as well, which is one of the most important goals throughout this process.

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