Monday, May 13, 2013

Pay Attention!

A good example of this is that I was recently hiking on a local mountain trail near where I live, and it was an unusually hot day for late in the winter in Southern California.  I was heading up a particularly steep part of the hill and noticed an attractive woman up ahead who was going slowly due to the heat and steepness.  As I caught up with her, she looked back at me, and I just said in a friendly voice “summer’s here early, sure is a hot one out here today.”  With that she laughed a bit, smiled and nodded her head. 

I established a commonality with the situation surrounding us, a great way to start a conversation.  If I chose to it would have been simple to converse further and get to know more about her, but my schedule was very tight and I moved on up the trail.  The point here is establishing a common bond will be a great first step to the rest of the encounter. 
It will be obvious if there is further to go with woman within minutes.  You will feel the difference.  You will know inside you that a woman is genuinely returning your conversation and eye contact in a way that shows that she’s interested in you as well, just as you will know that she’s being polite and not interested in you beyond a passing verbal exchange. 

The signs will all be there if a woman is showing genuine interest, the return of eye contact, a smile, questions or conversation that show interest.  Make sure you pay attention to what’s going on in front of you and stay out of projecting in your head!  When all of these signs are there, you can happily proceed further.  If not, don’t waste everyone’s time and move on. 

No always means no and if you think otherwise and try to change that, you’ll do lots more damage than good.  If you have to think hard about whether a woman is interested in you, trying to ‘read between the lines’ and so on, be assured there’s nothing there for you, or at best the effort involved will not justify what comes of it.  Bid a polite adieu and continue with your day. 

Your goal is to go where you are wanted and your attentions are welcomed.

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