Emotional Safety

While what you say to a woman is always important, it’s a man’s actions that will ultimately shape the relationship between the two of you.  All of the attributes discussed at the beginning of the chapter, especially respect for a woman’s feelings and opinions, are required for developing a woman’s trust and her being able to confide in you. 

The foremost task for Mr. Nice Guy is having his words and deeds reach a point of consistency that a woman feels emotionally safe with him.  If a woman feels emotionally safe, then – with time, patience, effort and trust – her heart, mind, body and soul will be open and accessible.  Many times the Nice Guy will spend time with a woman being nice and attentive, but all the time and effort is focused on a sexual payoff somewhere down the road.  This mentality must always be avoided, it is a ‘strings attached’ attitude, and a complete waste of your time.  It simply isn’t nice, and women will view you as creepy – a term you never want associated with yourself.  You’re better off being dead than being a creep, and from a relationship standpoint, a creep is dead anyway.