Friday, June 21, 2013

Zen Seduction

Part of being in this Zone is being able to process information, and communicate it to your date in a matter that enhances your attractiveness. If you are dining, express how tasty your dish is, and have a small forkful of your dish at the ready as you offer her a taste of it. This assumes you haven’t ordered something way off the chart, like sweetbreads or other esoteric cuts of meat. Save the adventurous menu choices for a much later time and don’t stray too far from the middle of the road, but don’t be too typical either! 

Hopefully she’ll bite, so to speak, so you can gently place the fork in front of her, and she’ll either take it from your hand, or hopefully lean forward so you can gently put it to her lips, and she can take it from there. Maybe she’ll respond in kind and offer you a bite of her dish as well. Happily accept her offer and find what she’s having tasting delicious, regardless of what she has ordered! 

All these small little things add up over a course of an evening, so while on the one hand you’re paying attention to everything she has to say, you also have to be mindful of those moments where you will rack up the attractiveness points. This is the realm of Mr. Nice Guy, with the Good Bad Boy at his ear. So, just flow with your inner Nice Guy, we’ll send him off later when he’s no longer required.

Again we must invoke Less is More. Keep the conversation light and simple, inquisitive, fun and friendly. This is you getting to know someone for the first time, not a grilling for a job interview. Being too intense, obtuse or just plain weird will torpedo your chances. 

Your goal is to be as attractive as possible, and now is not the time to volunteer the extent of your baseball card collection, and so forth. You will have to talk to some degree, but don’t try to over impress, just stay within yourself. Don’t use words that can only be found in a thesaurus (you DO know what a thesaurus is, correct?) unless your date clearly demonstrates an advanced grasp on the English language – and assuming you can keep up with her. You’ll know quickly if you’ve blundered off the path, you’ll be getting a distant, glassy look back at you – your date has disconnected and you’ll have to struggle to get her back. 

Part of the challenge here is seeking the common and comfortable level between both of you and that entails not only what you say, but how you say it as well. Guys are always in such a hurry at this stage – at all stages, really – but you must pace yourself. Coming on like the Running of the Bulls at Pamplona will rarely, if ever, gain any favor. 

Be engaging, flirtatious, make lots of eye contact, smile, but don’t overdo it. It sounds tricky, but with practice it will all flow naturally.

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