Good Bad Boy Tip #11

Firstly, breathe, and breathe deeply.  It is a relaxing technique, and being relaxed and unrushed, physically, mentally – in every manner – is the way to go. 

 

Next, take a lesson from women and focus on the journey, not the destination.  Men are overly fixated on getting to the point of climax, and they miss the opportunity of rounding out and expanding their sexual experience. 

 

Keep relaxing, and focus on where you are in the exact moment, and not where you want to be.  Keeping yourself in this headspace will have you last a long time, and I can assure you that will garner you more adoration than you can ever imagine.

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

 

 

The Power of Physical Knowledge

A woman’s body and how it reacts to sexual stimulus, is one of the most fascinating subjects for a Good Bad Boy, and compared to a man’s body, it is a veritable wonderland of magic places.  Discovering them and learning to enhance the physical experience will be a very satisfying journey for the both of you. 

Men, in most respects are very linear and very happy to go from point A to point B in a straight line.  This is not how you want to interact sexually with a woman.  Women are much more circular, and the physical journey involved is very, very important.  Bear in mind, once a man climaxes, the party usually becomes a whole lot less interesting for everybody.  A Good Bad Boy will hold off his pleasure to make sure the woman he is with is fully satisfied. 

Taking the time to learn and then using that knowledge to bring a woman to sexual satisfaction, is the responsibility of all Good Bad Boys.  One shouldn’t get into the mindset that if a woman doesn’t orgasm, then you’ve failed. Sometimes it’s just not in the cards, but one should always be willing, ready, and able to do what is necessary to fulfill and satisfy the woman you are with every time you are with her.  Again, let everything flow naturally, do not rush, the last thing a woman wants to do when she’s with a skilled lover is rush to orgasm.  She’s having a fabulous journey and she wants the trip to last as long as possible, and in order for that to happen, you will have to be very good at physical self-control.

This is probably the biggest challenge and point of contention as far as sexual activity between men and women.  Most complaints that women have with men physically is that they do not last long enough for them to be sexually satisfied, and they almost never can express their disappointment with this, since it’s such a delicate topic.  This is unacceptable for a Good Bad Boy.  The Fragile Male Ego and all that nonsense needs to take a hike, and men need to learn how to properly use what nature has gifted them with.  Once again, here is an opportunity to differentiate yourself, and it is the most important way you can do it.  Learn self control. 

There are probably a thousand different ways of doing it, but whatever works for you, start doing it, and keep practicing.  Some men are lucky enough to have this ability naturally, but they are few and far between – just ask any woman.  In fact, probably the most important skill a male can have in the adult video industry is the ability to have self control, and to be able to orgasm for the ‘money shot’ on cue.  With practice, it can be done.  The practitioners of Tantric sex are skilled at this, and they spend years learning how to sublimate the physical urges that dominate a man’s body while in the middle of sexual activity.  You need not become a Tantric Master to be skilled at self control, but some of the characteristics we’ve already discussed should be employed here. 

Still Listening?

When inviting a woman to communicate her desires and sexual wants to you, let her know that she can express anything she wants, that it is totally open and everything is up for consideration.  This will reinforce the feeling that it’s safe with you, that she can be herself and not be judged or have some strange reaction. 

You would be sadly shocked at how many women have not had their desires and needs adequately considered, and worse yet, how regularly they are sublimated to the male’s needs.  Do not participate in this imbalance between the sexes, any clueless male can, and does, proceed this way, and Good Bad Boys take the higher, evolved path.   Once more you can differentiate yourself, find out what really gets her sexual attention, and be willing to go forward with it enthusiastically. 

Of course, since you offered open communication, do be prepared for what may come back to you.  It would be unusual for things to suddenly turn wild or kinky, but in the realm of sex there are few limitations.  She may have a long harbored fantasy that no one has ever indulged her in, so be the first to do so.  This assumes, of course, that you do not do anything to harm yourself, or your stature, do not suddenly turn off the Good Bad Boy path.  If something strikes you as too scary or outré, just offer to revisit it at a later date after you know each other more, which values her desire but allows for things to progress more safely.  However, do be willing to stretch yourself.  If she wants to engage you sexually while you recite the poems of Shelly because it’s a huge turn on for her, by all means go for it.

Enriching your experiences only adds to your body of knowledge, and in the art of lovemaking, you always want to be a student.  Listening leads to learning and putting what you learn into practice builds a strong foundation of confidence.  While every woman is different, listening, learning and receiving from them the lessons they offer will enhance your standing with womanhood as a whole.  Besides, this is all supposed to be fun, so take the load off yourself.  Find out what it is that will drive your woman wild, and then do it. 

As this should be one of the more fun learning experiences in your life, share it with her, and make sure to reinforce that she can communicate her needs and wishes with you at any time.  You are just learning about her physically, and it’s very unrealistic for you to know every little nuance and place that will send her to the next level of heightened sexual pleasure.  She will tell you if you offer the invitation, so make sure you allow for that communication path.  It will enhance your connection, and you’ll be a much better lover as well, which is one of the most important goals throughout this process.

 

 

Listen Up!

One sense we haven't discussed is hearing.  As it was previously in the throes of making out with her, you will need to heighten your sense of hearing, and really listen and sense what’s going on.  Every action you take will have some reaction, whether it’s mild or wild.  Listening to how a woman reacts to your sexual touch is crucial in learning what will work in terms of delivering ecstasy.  Your touch with your hands or mouth may be too firm or too soft, and the only way you’ll know is by listening and feeling to how she reacts. 

A Good Bad Boy knows and loves the fact that lovemaking is an art form.  While on the one hand it may seem very daunting and mysterious, it also reaps huge rewards for those that spend the time really learning the subtle nuances involved.  Being skilled in this art will win you much adoration among women, given you’re not a jerk about it (more about that later).  Since a lot of men really are not very good at this, it’s one more opportunity to separate yourself from the single male masses, which we’ve already established as an ongoing goal.  More importantly, you’ll feel great about yourself, and positive self-image and confidence really foster a positive upward spiral, and we want that to continue without end. 

So, as with any art form, practice as much as you can, and in this instance just take the opportunity and really spend time with her.  Let your body catch up with your racing mind, and get back in sync.  While you are learning with your hearing and sense of touch, do not hesitate to open up the channels of communication.  This is not the time for a conversation, but do let her know, briefly, that she is welcome to let you know anything that you can do that will turn her on. 

No one expects you to know everything, and inviting her to express what works for her lets her know that her pleasure is as important as yours, and you’ll continue to impress on her that it’s actually more important than yours – which it is, since it’s the key to many, many things to come, so to speak.  Her hearing that you want to please her in a way that she wants will only strengthen the bond between the two of you, and she will have a caring, considerate and unselfish lover in her bed, which is what every woman wants. 

Good Bad Boy Tip #10

Spend extra time feeling, smelling, tasting – this is no time to rush.  View it as a sexual meditation, with all the deliberateness that goes with that. 

This will always work, and generally if a woman has reached the point where she needs more, she will usually let you know, and often times in no uncertain terms. 

Try to slow it all down – you will act more thoughtfully throughout and the sensual experience will last that much longer.  All good!

Lovemaking as an Art Form

There is no point going into specific sexual techniques, you’re not fourteen anymore and it is important to develop a sense and style that is unique to yourself, and comes from inside of you.  Anything else will eventually seem totally fake or forced.   We will go over some concepts that will help set the tone and manner, but it is solely your responsibility to fill in the vast spaces that exist afterward.

Being a Good Bad Boy goes in stages, and each level involves more challenges, but there are consistencies throughout.  Firstly, be deliberate, slow, and even though you may feel inside that your body wants to go at a supersonic pace, being in control of yourself will reap you many rewards.  Women are very attracted to men that can control themselves physically.  You are quite clear on what you want, or at least have an inkling, but as with many concepts that have already been discussed, being counter-intuitive will once again be the course of action. 

By being selfless, attentive and tuned in with your partner, you will not only show that you are giving and willing to please, but you will also get exactly what you want – even if you’re not quite sure what that is yet!  

We touched on the power of anticipation, and being on the brink of sexual activity, all that anticipation is now rushing to your head.  However, from here on, everything becomes very interactive.  As with everything up to this point, your actions are predicated on having a woman at the peak of desire, and wanting you physically.  Once in the bedroom, make sure this concept stays intact, even when the clothes come off, especially when you’re with someone for the first time.  Savor it like the fine sensual experience it’s supposed to be, take it all in on all sense levels.

Becoming A Good Bad Boy

Now, if the two of you have decided to keep things more on the physical plane and are going straight off to bed, you can check in later in the week, since we're addressing holding off sex for the moment. 

Firstly, give yourself credit for taking an evolved route in honoring how you feel inside.  Also, realize that by valuing feelings over sexual relations with your date, you have most likely made a very great and favorable impression with her.  She likely will want to see you again as soon as possible, but there is no rush, all the sexual activities will take care of themselves.  You are now in a very detached, but powerful place of knowing you’ve done everything the Good Bad Boy way, and that you can now enjoy the anticipation of the next encounter with her.  Have fun, but do take it in and learn from your actions, as they are the actions of a man in touch with his feelings, not a boy reacting to what his hormones are screaming at him, and that will always be viewed in a very positive light by the kind of women you want to spend a lot of time with. 

So, we’ll fast forward a bit, if you’ve held off, you now are down the road, have had another date or two (which you are much more skilled at by now) and you have reached the point again where there is a lot of heavy breathing, furious, passionate kissing and clothes starting to go the way of the four winds. 

As before, do not take anything for granted and do not assume that just because you held off before that the both of you will automatically tumble into bed.  Again, Good Bad Boys are skilled at having a woman reach the point that they want to have them, so keep gently, but respectfully, pushing the envelope.  Be more sexual in subtle degrees, unbutton her top, gently push her legs further apart and reach higher onto her thighs – just keep gently upping the ante. 

Again, no obvious touching, save that for when you’re both naked, which should be very soon.  The suggestion of it all right now is much more powerful than doing it, having her thinking about sex with you is the most powerful aphrodisiac there is.  At some point you both will be ready to explode, and it will be time to head to the bedroom (or whatever room you choose) and take your interactions to a significantly higher level. 

When you’re ready to cross that sexual threshold, just look at her, and say something fun and naughty in a Good Bad Boy way.  Something along the lines of ‘are you ready to show me what a naughty girl you are?’ will suffice, and then take her by the hand and lead her off to the bedroom. 

Or, she just as easily may not wait for you and lead you off on her own, lucky fellow.

The Path Much Less Travelled....

If on the other hand you find at this early juncture you are willing to roll the dice and commit your attentions to this woman only, that you’re not even interested in pursuing other women (it happens!), then you have another route to take.  You are at the same stage as above, all hot and bothered and on the verge of heading off to the bedroom.  Every sexual cell in your body will be screaming at you to get down to it, to honor your primal urges and get physical as soon as possible, but you must not listen to them. 

Once again, stop slowly, pull back, look her in the eyes and let her know how you would like to proceed.  Let her know that you find her very, very attractive, that you want nothing more than to take her off to the bedroom and ravage her.  Hopefully she’ll be nodding in agreement.  Then let her know that, as much as you want her physically, you want to get to know her better, to establish more of an emotional foundation with her before you have sex with her.  Let her know that you want to wait for a little bit. 

She will likely be very surprised by this; you may be the first man in her experience that has ever suggested holding off on sex when the opportunity was there before him. Make sure you reiterate at this time that you really want her sexually, that she is very sexy, beautiful, that this is hard for you to do but it is the right action given how you feel.  This way she won’t feel rejected, or that it’s about her appearance. Ask her if that’s okay with her.  She may be a bit bewildered; this would be new territory for a lot of women.  She’ll agree, hopefully, and you can kiss her and thank her.

It is important to realize how powerful this course of action is. Firstly, as a Good Bad Boy, you’ve honored how you feel within, and obviously you wouldn’t take this course of action if you didn’t feel strongly about it, and her. Secondly, you have taken a route that she has probably little, if any experience with. You have separated yourself from the rest of the single male pack – far, far away. You have put how you feel about her, how you want to be connected with her, in front of having sex with her. Men will rarely choose this path given the circumstances. You have established a standing with her in a way that few, if any, men have done before. You have demonstrated in the most powerful way that how you feel is more important than your carnal desires. You have shown that you feel she is worth waiting for. All of these will deepen her regard for you, and you will establish a deeper place with her – instantly. And most importantly, by holding off sexual activity in favor of getting to know her more, you have turned the Flames of Anticipation into an inferno.

Of course you may have done such a great job getting her all hot and bothered that while she agrees with and acknowledges your feelings., she simply wants you now, no matter what. You can go either way now, sex or no, with a clear conscience. You will now move forward as only a Good Bad Boy would, and should.