Subtlety, Eye Contact and The Welcome

Flirtation is an art, and probably the single most important skill you must acquire and become proficient at if you are to be a Good Bad Boy. Flirtation can be one of the most fun and rewarding activities a man can do, if he does it from a balanced perspective with no fixed agenda. 

As with many other items, if you approach flirtation with preconceived notions and lofty expectations, you will probably end up very frustrated and feel completely outside of your own power.  Expert flirtation starts with the very simple, but key concept that’s been repeated throughout this book – Less Is More.

In all interactions with women it is always fatal if you appear to be trying too hard or are way too eager to please or make a favorable impression.   An important notion to always bear in mind is that if you appear unconcerned (do not confuse this with uninterested) at first that will pique the interest of a woman much faster than if you take a direct route.  Women have been getting hit on all their lives, and have heard it all, usually from guys without a clue. 

By simply a taking a contrary route, you'll get much, much further along.  The route you will take is flirtation, the Good Bad Boy way.  Flirtation is a ‘getting to know you’ process, but it involves pacing, subtlety, patience and the ability to think on your feet.

Stepping Into the Good Bad Boy Role

We’re concerned about evolving as a Good Bad Boy, and developing the habit of regularly acting from within yourself towards women, simply by just being you.  This will reap immediate benefits; you will be a man acting on how he feels, being genuine, and communicating in a forthright manner. 

By being yourself, and your actions coming from the inside out, you will be far less reactive and not find yourself trying to fit into a mold of what another person desires just to make points.  More importantly, you’ll feel better about yourself, you will strengthen your resolve and self-assurance, and all of this will just add to your allure and attractiveness to the opposite sex. 

The first step in this all-important process is to establish the foundation of seduction, and that is learning how to master flirtation with women.

Seducing Women the Good Bad Boy Way

In terms of becoming a Good Bad Boy, there is nothing more important than becoming a skilled seducer.  For better or worse, it is the man’s responsibility in our society to do the pursuing, and the women have the role of being pursued.  Like everything else, both sides of this dating equation have their good and bad points. 

I’ve heard many men whine about how they have to do all the work in getting a date with a woman, and like it or not, that’s just the way it goes.  You can complain all you want and fight it, and you’ll spend a lot of time by yourself.  You’re more likely to hit the lottery than have a beautiful woman of substance come out of the blue and chase you down for a rendezvous. 

Look at it from the female side, they have to spend a lot of time avoiding low flying objects (men that pursue them that they want no part of) and I’ve heard many of them wish they could take the upper hand and just go after the guys they want to without all the nonsense.  Some very confident women do this, but they are far and few between; this mindset is very much against the societal upbringing for most women. 

So, like it or not, a Good Bad Boy plays the cards he is dealt, and in this instance, being the pursuer, he recognizes the fun and fabulous opportunity that is handed to him.  By practicing Good Bad Boy techniques, there will now be access to a level of self-control in all interactions with women, so the frustrations many men have in terms of ‘trying to read’ women will be somewhat neutralized.  

By being much more proactive, men now have a fun opportunity to star in their own ‘life movie.’  This is a key point, for it will alter the ineffective dynamic that you’ve been operating under when engaging women, you are now going to start discovering what it is you really want, and then actively going out at trying to attain it.  Don’t concern yourself with the results now, they will come in time. 

Confidence is Everything....

Confidence, as opposed to the above character defects, involves self-assurance.  It defines a feeling of emotional security derived from a faith in oneself.  Confidence is an instinctive certainty in your powers, capabilities and competence.  Having confidence means you don’t have to tell anyone how confident you are, it shows in your actions.  It has nothing to do with what you do in the outside world, but everything to do with who you are – on the inside.  

However, no male was born with confidence when it comes to females.  Some are lucky and gain it earlier than others, and others hide behind their possessions and accomplishments and pretend confidence.  Some never really gain it at all, and still manage to stumble into a relationship with a woman. 

Women find confidence in a man attractive, and they find a man that has confidence when it comes to women really attractive.  Since males are void of this confidence to begin with, how are they possibly expected to become skillful with women?  Confidence comes with doing things repeatedly and then finally reaching a point knowing you can accomplish what you’ve set out to do.  You have to practice, practice, practice – and then practice some more.   Good Bad Boys are always practicing, and as artists and students of women, are always honing their craft. 

‘Fine’, you say, ‘but what am I supposed to practice?’  Since you now have a very basic understanding of the behaviors that women find attractive and the traits they abhor, it’s time to venture out into the real world of pursuing women the Good Bad Boy Way.  With patience, you will do a significantly better job of gaining the attention of women than you have been doing before.  You are now going to boost your confidence in a way that you’ve never experienced before.  

You are now going to learn how to properly seduce a woman.

Your 'Stuff' Doesn't Matter Here......

If you need to boast about your job, possessions, boats, houses, bank account or other items of money, property or prestige, you’re only kidding yourself if you think this is the essence of confidence.  You are deluded if you think all this stuff makes you more attractive to women with substance.  Not only will they be unimpressed, they will view you as someone who is pathetic.  One great example of this was the story of a man who was vertically challenged trying to impress a woman I’ve known for many years, trying to get her to go out on a date with him:

One of his opening lines was, “You know, I’m someone who has a lot of money.”

She feigned being impressed for a moment, and then said, “Really?  Wow.  So how tall are you when you stand on your wallet?”

He slinked away completely emasculated.

Forget Everything and Start Learning......

Unrealistic expectations are a big limitation on your thinking.  You’ve just met a new woman, and there’s a physical chemistry, a mutual attraction.  This is always a good start, but men usually drop the ball from here.   This woman has already gotten quite far being who she is, and your responsibility is to go find out exactly what that is.  Likely she’ll be a whole lot more interesting and appealing than the limited ideal you had to begin with.  Don’t ever underestimate the importance of a bright, cute woman who thinks you’re a big deal.  Think Less!  Open your mind and your heart might just follow it, if you’re lucky. 

By now you should have enough of an understanding of what women respond to positively and negatively to traverse further down the Good Bad Boy path.  Now is a very good opportunity to discuss something that every woman finds very desirable – confidence.

Before defining what confidence means, it’s smart to know exactly what it isn’t.  It isn’t bragging, boastfulness, conceit, self-importance, vanity, snobbery or arrogance.  Fall into any of these behavior characteristics and women will likely crinkle up their noses at the foul aroma your personality is emitting, turn on their heels and walk away.  If you don’t know what the difference between confidence and these other less than wholesome attributes are, you need to learn this distinction right now.

Get Real

What also will aid you in maintaining a balance is to purge your consciousness of previous notions of women in general.  You’re probably like many men and see a new woman you may potentially date as a replication of some cover girl from the latest flashy magazine or website trying to fire up your testosterone.  Not only that, she must be sharp minded.  It’s probably not occurred to you that if this is the standard you hold women to, she’s got a better mind than you do.  The bottom line is if she’s cute, sexy, and reasonably bright and thinks you’ve got something going on that works for her, you’re miles ahead of the unrealistic dreamers that are going home from the clubs inebriated to cuddle and drool onto their pillows--alone.