The Friendship Trap

There’s nothing wrong with acts of chivalry and kindness without expectation of recompense. However, if your initial efforts at trying to gain the favors of a fair maiden involve fixing machines, appliances, switches or other complicated broken things; offering to carry heavy objects, killing and disposing of various and sundry vermin, and so on, you're in trouble. You are essentially building a mammoth neon sign over your head that reads to her PLATONIC FRIEND – DO NOT TOUCH.

Again, this is assuming that she doesn’t have a big initial attraction to you. The only sure way to know that a woman is attracted to you is that it has been communicated to you in a very clear manner. However it is broadcast to you, be it through actions or words, they should be crystal clear so even the geekiest organic chemist will know. “Hey, she was smiling at me, and looking me in the eyes...a lot!” Anything short of this shall be interpreted as Friends Only!

In case you’ve somehow gotten this far in life without knowing what platonic entails, in essence it means non-physical, which put in male terms reads No Sex For You, Pal. Your early involvement with her has been a task oriented one having nothing to do with romance. So, my friend, you have set that course. Don’t blame any woman later for leading you on, taking advantage of you or any other ego driven nonsense in an effort to salve your wounded pride. You were the one who got the ball rolling in this direction. She never expressed any attraction towards you, correct? Any woman can find a handyman in the Yellow Pages, finding a guy that can sweep her off her feet and take her breath away is a lot more challenging.

Essentially, by sending out the message that you’re a nice guy and that you’re willing to do favors for a woman, guess what? They will be more than happy to oblige your wishes. Why not? You’ve communicated to her that it’s fine to take that course. Women are quite sharp, but they can’t read your mind. By failing to effectively communicate your hopes, wishes and desires, you’ve now dug yourself into the Platonic Grave, and rest assured, there is little hope of ever getting out of it.

The problem here is that Mr. Nice Guy has taken the lead role. He has his place, and it’s an important one, but on the journey to being a Good Bad Boy, it is essential for one to know when its time for Mr. Nice Guy and when the Good Bad Boy steps in to take over. They are to co-exist, dependent on each other, but like a good team, will not interfere with the other’s area of expertise. Those defined areas will become clearer later on.

For now, you need to learn a lot more about women.