Are You Listening??

The first, and most important item you should know, and etch this permanently into your brain as soon as possible, is that if you really want to become a Good Bad Boy, you have to learn how to Listen To Women.

Listening to other guys when you were a boy got you off on the wrong foot, and now its time to set you back in the right direction. If you learn nothing else here, please learn how to listen to women. If you do, you’ll take a great stride in lessening the gap between the sexes.

What this entails is not only listening, but hearing them as well. Yes, another nuance for you to comprehend and excel at right away. So many times women have expressed how men don’t listen to them. Good Bad Boys have no interest in being like the great unwashed and unenlightened hordes of other men out there, so they take the extra time and consideration to become great listeners, hearing a woman out, and offering support and, when it is requested-- and only then --offering their opinion or knowledge on whatever the topic of conversation is.

Learning How To Act Around Women - Part II

If you have even a modicum of sexual evolvement, you already know how much of a turn off it is to hear guys spew forth about their sexual exploits, or worse, their caveman opinion on women in general. And, it should go without saying that you should never – under any circumstances – boast about your past sexual experiences to a woman, unless of course never having sex with her is your goal.

Even if she asks you about it, assume a self-effacing attitude and politely side step any mention of your experiences, turning it back in a charming and playful manner by saying something like “Women didn't exist for me until I met you ” and leave it at that. If you’re a skilled lover, she already knows you’ve been around the block a number of times. Her imagining that you’ve been with a lot of women will potentially turn her on, thinking you’re a lovely, naughty Bad Boy, and now she’s captured your attentions. This will give her an important feeling of accomplishment, that's she's unique. You telling her you’ve been with a bunch of other girls will completely kill the illusion she’s created in her mind, make her feel diminished and unexceptional, as well as taking away her fantasy guy. Now you’re just another player who has completely turned her off. Learn this subtle but important distinction NOW!

Yes, another item on a long list of female mysteries. Remember, we’re in an exotic, exciting, but confusing foreign place now, and although subtlety is not a strong suit for most men, it is a highly prized commodity in the realm of women. The information in her mind is important, but it’s how it gets delivered there matters more. She wants to feel that’s she’s number one with you – whether you’re dating only her or five others – and you better do that if you want to spend time with this woman. Be a good poker player and don’t show your cards. Just a subtle hint here and there keeps the fire burning quite nicely.

Maybe learning to Listen will help...

Learning How to Act Around Women

Barring any serious psychological issues on your part, you’re probably like a lot of the nice guys out there in that pleasuring a woman is a priority, and that you feel good about doing it, and doing it well. If this hasn’t been important to you before, you’ll now have to make it one of your main goals or forego any hope of being truly adored by women.

Good Bad Boys have a quiet sense of pride in knowing that they are skillful lovers, and thoroughly enjoy bringing a woman as much pleasure as she can stand. They have many of the same competitive drives that most men have, however, in the arena of being a skillful seducer and love maker, they already know the secrets and keep it to themselves. Good Bad Boys don’t brag about their sexual activities, they’ve already been told by the women in their lives how special they are, and that is all that they want and need. They generally just smile patiently through any inane locker room type chatter that may be going on at the pinochle table or watching the football game, knowing the source is likely blowing a lot of gas and smoke.

But wait! There's more.....

Taking the Lead.....

The crucial distinction is that lead does not mean control, and it is vitally important for any man to understand this distinction if he is to attain Good Bad Boy status. Many women will state that they love a man who ‘takes charge’ or ‘takes control’, but these phrases refer to very specific situations, like knowing when to firmly take a woman and kiss her for the first, or hundredth time. Women really enjoy it when men plan a lovely evening out at a romantic restaurant, but that doesn’t mean he should tell her what or when she can eat.

So, it’s essential for a Good Bad Boy to know how to lead without taking control, and that’s only one of many conundrums that a guy will face with women. So, as I stated in an earlier post, you defer to Mr. Wilde’s infinite wisdom and forego trying to figure them out. What a Good Bad Boy will concern himself with is being an irresistible guy, and we’ll develop that in the postings to come. For now, we’ll concentrate on understanding women better, and that means thinking a whole lot less than before.

So, how are those dance steps coming?

Keep On Dancing......

Lets imagine a man taking a woman to the dance floor, and as they proceed, he tells her at every step and move what she should do, where to go, how he thinks she should move there, even though she is already skilled in the dance steps. This will quickly become a miserable experience for the woman, who would not be questioned for kicking this man in the groin for such actions. A woman would be understandably quite angry with this type of behavior, and at the time she storms off, this man would think, in a frustrated manner, “ But she said she wanted me to lead!”

Now consider the same man taking a woman onto the dance floor, leading her through the dance. He leads her as far as the structure of the dance with the music is concerned; he has his steps, and she has hers that juxtaposes with his. It is a balanced equation, a symmetry that flows naturally, and no words need be spoken to have it be so. A man, in this specific relationship, provides the blank canvas for the woman to fill with colors and definition. A man allows the space for the woman to fill with her creativity, style, manner and grace. It is lovely and sexy, and all of it done as a partnership.

But there's a very important distinction to still make......

So, You Think You Can Dance....

Many women love to dance, and many men, straight men that is, really aren’t that keen on it. By dance, I mean real dancing, like salsa, ballroom or swing, with prescribed steps that are followed to a considerable degree. What I’m not referring to is white boys flailing around on the dance club floor, looking as if a horde of fire ants have been dropped into their pants.

Most women love men who can dance properly, and men have scratched their heads as to why, just chalking it up to another of those endless mysteries about women. However, understanding this will give greater insight to the bigger picture....

Understanding Venutian - Part III

Women are very accomplished and have gotten quite far without the sage advice of a male on how to go about their business. Suffice it to say, the worst kind of advice is that of the unsolicited variety. Add to that the fact that most men don’t have a very good grasp of women anyway, and then you have some really useless information. Let’s proceed and find out how to love women, and not by trying to figure them out, leaving everyone much happier all around.

As previously mentioned, the world of women many times involves, at least from the male perspective, a steady flow of paradoxes and contradictions. The following maxim will help demonstrate this. A woman will happily desire a man who leads her, but will resent one who tells her what to do.

Now that I’ve lost 99.9% of the male reading audience, further illumination is necessary. Men, in their charmingly simplistic view, assume that if a woman wants him to take the lead that is a comprehensive invitation to advise and instruct on all matters and decisions in a woman’s life. Nothing could be further from the truth.

A trip to the dance floor may assist us in clarifying this line of thought. So, put on your dancing shoes....

Understanding Venutian -Part II

Oscar Wilde, as with many other subjects, summed up his view on women in a single phrase. He wrote, “Women are meant to be loved, not understood”, and the truth of this should not be underestimated. It’s probably not so ironic that a brilliant gay man was able to enlighten the rest of the male masses on how to handle the matter of relating with women. However, just parroting his well-chosen words will hardly gain you insight on the female condition. Deeper examination, and in essence, learning more is necessary before you can put aside this newly acquired knowledge and think less. It does sound contrary, but remember, we’re on a female planet now, and the frequency of seemingly conflicting concepts will multiply at an alarmingly rapid rate.

One exasperating trait of men to many women is the general tendency to survey problems and challenges on their own and then go about solving them in their own unique way. It could be that this is wired into the male DNA from the hunter/gatherer days, but some of the modern day consequences of this characteristic are poorly done home repair projects, lack of foresight in financial and retirement planning, and a complete aversion to road maps among many other unattractive peccadilloes.

The most egregious of these, however, is the male attribute that imagines that he has a new and brilliant insight to the way a woman may be running her life. While this is perfectly acceptable, arguably gallant, when it is requested of them, much more often than not these pearls of wisdom are ushered forth without any form of provocation or permission. Quite possibly this is a hangover from earlier societal roles where the male was almost exclusively the provider, but clearly women have evolved since those darker times.

Understanding Venutian...

For centuries it seems men have been racking their brains trying to figure out and understand women, and the sum total of the brain energy exerted on this topic would likely provide enough power to keep Cincinnati well lit for a few years.

Nowhere does our Bad Boy Mantra of Think Less and Feel More apply as aptly than on the perilous topic of understanding women. So, initially we’ll just have to purge all those previous notions of women that are now clouding your mind out into the air, where they will hopefully vaporize and not cause too much of a smog cloud.

Understanding Women - Continued

Once you have a better understanding of women, you will have much better instincts on timing, what to say, what to do and what is too much and what is not enough. It is not so much acquiring an encyclopedic knowledge of women in general, that would take thousands of pages and more time than any of us could possibly spend on the subject, enticing as it may be. You’ll just get to a place of knowing what you need to know and the rest will fall into place.

The first order of business is the realization that you will have to start viewing the world in a very different way. Time to take a very deep breath and step into the remarkable, quizzical and beautiful parallel universe where women exist.

Get ready to land on Venus.......

Introduction to Understanding Women...

One of the main reasons why you’re so enraptured by this blog is that you’re dying to figure out what it is that women really want. You now have more clarity on the kind of woman you are seeking out, instead of just hanging around at a club or party and reacting to whichever woman happens to respond to your ill-informed advances. However, you’re only part of the way to your desired destination. You may be clear on where you’re heading, but you have no clue what to do once you get there. You need to develop a Good Bad Boy understanding of women.

Think of it this way. You are embarking on a photo safari in Africa, and you’ve decided to pursue only elephants instead of lions. The clarity of choice is laudable, but you still have little understanding of how to do it without local assistance. Sure, you know what they look like and they travel in herds, eat a lot of vegetation and have to drink fifty gallons of water a day - well, maybe you didn’t know that. However, you have no idea of where they roam, when they eat and how they sleep or the 'whys' or 'hows' of any of their other behavioral traits. From your perspective right now women are wild animals – beautiful, wonderful to gaze upon, but dangerous to approach in any manner lest you get your heart or ego tattered.

You wouldn’t just walk up to an elephant in the wild and start snapping flash photos, unless you’re capable of running at world-class speed. Hence, a new understanding of women needs to wash over you in a flash flood manner – quickly and completely