Now You Know, So Let It Go

We’ve discussed many aspects of being a Good Bad Boy, but the most important one is being true to who you are.  You never want to compromise yourself, do anything you don’t really want to, or be reactive to the people or circumstances surrounding you. A huge part of what makes a Good Bad Boy so desirable is his solid sense of self.  This separates the men from the boys.  While women are more than happy to have a dalliance with a boy, being with a man is where the gold is.  You will rarely be able to connect with a woman on a deep level if you do not carry yourself as a man and behave accordingly.  Leave the boys and their behavior to the girls of the world.  You’re in this for much more rewarding pursuits, and being with a sexually open woman, as opposed to a girl who is sexually inexperienced and uncomfortable, is where you will always head to.


At the beginning of this journey you were likely someone who had desires and fantasies about how you wanted to interact sexually with women, but it seemed as accessible as jumping onto the surface of Mars.  Now you are clear on who you are and what you want with the women in your life.  You now can state your desires in a very palatable and seductive manner and not only have them heard and acknowledged, but more importantly have them fulfilled on a regular basis.  As the fulfillment of your desires becomes more a part of your normal existence, the feelings that you would never get what you wanted sexually and that you had no power in this area or with women in general will disappear for good.  Your confidence and self esteem will soar, yet throughout you are grateful and humble that you received the gift of this knowledge.  You are cognizant that by being of service honoring the women in your life physically, emotionally, spiritually and simply being there for them, you also honor yourself as a man.


Now that you have all this heightened awareness, it is time to let it go.  I’m sure you’re wondering exactly what I’m talking about, and let’s be regular guys one last time and use a sports analogy.  In golf, you practice, practice, practice until your arms are ready to fall off, and when it’s time to get on the course and play the game for real you must let all the thinking disappear.  All that muscle memory must take over and the natural swing rhythm comes from somewhere deep within.  I know every time I do a lot of thinking when I’m in the midst of a golf swing the results are almost always poor.   Being a Good Bad Boy is the same.  You’ve taken in all these points, and practiced trial and error and have reached a point where you have more than a clue on how to go about all of this.  Of course, you’ll have to think when trying to come up with a good reply or other conversation, but on the physical levels, it’s time to let the natural rhythms you’ve developed take over from within.  It always amazes me how the best golf shots seem to come from very little thought or physical effort.  They come from within.  As a Good Bad Boy expresses himself from the inside out, let everything come from within, naturally, without forethought or provocation.  Eventually it will be as if you have a neon sign over your head, visible only to women in the world, quietly glowing ‘Good Bad Boy’ with a flashing arrow pointing down to you.  The world will forever be a changed place.
           
When you first started this journey, the thought of speaking to a woman in the tones discussed above, or to act in such a bold and sexual manner probably didn’t even exist in your mind, it was so foreign.  The point is now you know better; you know the power of behaving this way in an appropriate manner, and the rewards it will reap.  You are only just finding out that there are many women out in the world that are hoping that today is the day they finally run into a guy who knows his stuff sexually, yet is humble and knows how to treat a woman like a woman – across the board.  A guy who knows when to romance a woman and seduce her slowly and when to push her up against a wall and bring out the inner bad girl that she’s been dying to let out, yet no man has been able to coax it out of her properly.   A man who pushes the boundaries and doesn’t hesitate to be spontaneous, naughty and adventuresome, yet at all times making sure the woman is right there with him.  You’ll know for certain when you’ve reached full Good Bad Boy status – you will never have to think of yourself that way, since the women in your life will be calling you a Good Bad Boy for you, just before they fall into your arms so you can do with them as you will – in that manner that only a Good Bad Boy knows how to do.

Assume Nothing!

It is very important to realize that just because you’re committing to a deeper relationship doesn’t mean that you’re going to prison.  Like everything else, a committed relationship has its plusses and minuses.  As mentioned earlier, having the attentions of a lovely, decent woman who thinks you’re the greatest thing since the invention of the wheel is one of the most valuable things you’ll ever have in your possession.  Being committed does not mean you stop being a Good Bad Boy; you just have to make your adjustments. 


Hopefully a big part of why you’re in this relationship is that you share a lot in common, particularly when it comes to things in the realm of naughtiness.  Being true to yourself is always a big part of the Good Bad Boy way, so now you just have to be a Good Bad Boy that is committed.  There’s nothing wrong with that at all.  You still love women; still love flirting with them as you have before.  As long as you reassure your partner that all your flirtatious behavior is not a reflection on how you feel about her, that no matter what you do you view your relationship with her as more important than anything. 


It is important to discuss with her what the boundaries are as far as behavior. You may be very surprised as what will be ok with a woman, particularly one that has a Good Bad Boy as her significant other and feels that her relationship is solid.  Remember, it was noted earlier that one of the most important things to a woman is emotional safety.  She loves that you’re a Good Bad Boy; she doesn’t want that to change.  She may be very turned on by hearing how while you were out picking up some milk from the store and almost picked up a cute woman while you were there as well.  Maybe next time she’ll want to go with you to see you in action!  Who knows – you’re only limited by what the two of you define as boundaries. 


There is a Good Bad Boy friend of mine that is very happily married but of course takes the opportunity to flirt with a sexy woman whenever he gets the green light to do so.  However, being a Good Bad Boy he would never lead a woman on, so he always makes sure to make mention of his wife shortly into the conversation. 


Most of the time that brings the flirtation to a quick but polite halt, but he has mentioned that is not always the case!  Some women he has flirted with want to get to know him better, and when he mentions that he would never do anything without his wife, the adventurous woman offers that she’d like to meet her as well, so that there are no roadblocks and they can continue the flirtation.  There are LOTS of open minded, adventurous women out there, so don’t limit yourself by making assumptions. 


Just be a Good Bad Boy and be honest, and express how you feel.  Just because you’re committed or married doesn’t mean the fun stops.  All it means is that you have to handle things differently, because you now have different responsibilities.  Maturity has its rewards!

Becoming the Good Bad Boyfriend/Husband

As time goes on and you travel further down the Good Bad Boy Path, you will have many wonderful experiences with many fabulous women, and if you stay on this path, you will earn a place in each one of their hearts, whether or not your relationships with these women are short or long term.  Every connection has its own time span, whether it lasts seventy minutes or seventy years.  The natural evolution of a Good Bad Boy at the end of all those cumulative experiences is to focus all that special knowledge on one very lucky and deserving woman.  Sooner or later the seduction process, while a very satisfying experience, runs its course. 


It’s an inevitable part of maturing, whether you have had your fill of it at 30 or at 50.  From my experience and observation, men that are still not in committed relationships and pursuing and trying to seduce numbers of women into their 40’s and 50’s are not ever going to mature, and therefore have zero chance at becoming a Good Bad Boy.  What their commitment issues are I’ll leave to the psychologists, as our focus is on becoming the kind of man women adore, and ultimately become the object of  adoration for one woman.  The important thing to remember is, as a Good Bad Boy, you need to be with someone who appreciates and loves who you are and while she wants all that fun attention turned her way, does not want to change the tiger’s stripes.  Equally important for the Good Bad Boy is to be with a woman who not only appreciates who he is, but brings her own special attributes to the relationship.


Myself, I’m a very fortunate fellow in that the woman I’m with is beautiful and brilliant with a science PhD.  There were many men that vied for her attentions that she could have chosen to have been with.  Men with more money, more powerful careers, higher intelligence and so on.  This is not to say I don’t hold my own in all those departments, I do, but they had little to do with her selection. 


She initially was attracted by my look, but as we all know there needs to be more than that for things to last more than 5 minutes – at least in any relationship that matters.  There are numerous times when I describe her to acquaintances who wonder how I ended up with someone of such significant substance.  I just shrug my shoulders and toss up my hands in a ‘beats me’ type of way and joke that she hasn’t come to her senses yet.  All joking aside, what kept her close was my Good Bad Boy demeanor – letting Mr. Nice Guy have his place and being a Bad Boy when the time was called for.  Apparently I also keep her in a state of perpetual amusement, but I think she just tells me that to make me feel less of a sex object.

Pushing the Envelope

The only limitations are the ones that you put there, and if you both are adventuresome and playful, then let your minds roam and explore.  All your practice at communication comes to fruition here, as discussions venture into the ‘what turns you on’ and ‘what fantasies do you have’ conversations.  Of course you are matter of fact and unflappable regardless of what she says, assuming there is nothing illegal desired. I once had a woman ask me why I hadn’t robbed a convenience store so she could fall in love with me.  She may have been kidding but it didn’t seem it at the time.  Needless to say, that situation didn’t get very far.  As a Good Bad Boy I’m very accommodating, however, there are some boundaries that just won’t be compromised.   
   
Don’t be afraid to push the envelope, and many times being spontaneous really helps.   You must become aware of the power of spontaneity romantically – bringing flowers or gifts, planning a special day for your girl and springing it on her, and so on.  Sexual spontaneity has its own powerful space as well.  You’ve established a safe place between you and your partner so don’t be afraid to try new ideas.  Obviously this can cover a lot of ground, but for starters, why not get a bit dominant with your woman.  This doesn’t mean getting disrespectful or speaking down to her, it’s simply an extension of when you earlier learned how to really kiss, by making a woman feel a bit helpless when you did so, but now you’re doing it in a bigger arena.  Often a woman loves being overpowered sexually, and this can involve dozens of different scenarios. 


Luckily, it will take some time to sort through them all!  Communicate and explore together, and a lot of fun discoveries will happen.  A Good Bad Boy will try not to be shocked by a woman’s behavior, in keeping with balance and stature, but how much fun it will be when a woman finally does take you aback.  Acknowledge it, but don’t be obvious about it!

The Power of Persuasion

As a Good Bad Boy you will also develop the ability to be a coercive influence.  Once you take the time to make a woman feel special, safe and desired you can really explore.  Assuming you’re with a woman that has a pretty extensive naughty streak (why would you be anywhere else?) you can regularly make suggestions or take actions that push the boundaries of your intimate experiences further out.  You’ll have the dual satisfaction of exploring territory that you’ve not been to before, as well as taking the woman you’re with to new and exciting heights – assuming she’s not been there before! 

Even if she’s been where you haven’t, that’s fine, since women that are really experienced and have had a full spectrum of sexual experiences truly appreciate a Good Bad Boy.  They, more than most women, need to be with someone who is confident and really knows their way around, and isn’t afraid to go there. Women generally aren’t thrilled if they find they are more sexually experienced than the guy they are getting to know. Most women would rather not have to teach the guy, they want to be shown what skills you have – for them. 

So, as a fun example, the next romantic dinner that you’re out at with your new partner, assuming you’ve both felt things out a bit, whisper in her ear, in a gentle but firm way, that you want her to go to the ladies room and remove her panties, and that she should bring them back for you to hold, and she’ll have to make due without them for the rest of the evening.  If she comes back with a clever reply, such as “why would you assume that I’m even wearing any?”  make sure you keep your Good Bad Boy stature, and if she’s wearing a dress or a skirt, you challenge her right then and there to surreptitiously prove it to you, as actions are what count.  If she balks, you can be provocative and question the veracity of her statement.  If she’s wearing slacks, you will expect her to prove it later. 

Either way, you keep your balance.  It’s like volleying in tennis.  Naughtiness in public is a huge turn on for many women.  Don’t be afraid to explore it, but don’t be foolish or obvious either as it’s a fine balance.  Remember, there are many law enforcement personnel that will be less than amused by your activities if they catch you in the act.   Oh, and be sure to put this woman right at the top of the list of your involvements – any woman who thinks that way is someone you want to know a whole lot more! 

Humility is Hot

As a Good Bad Boy, you will have special knowledge and skills, it will almost seem like you are privy to the most obvious secret in the world that is right under every guy’s nose.  However, that does not give you license to flaunt it or act like you’re better than every guy out there. 


We’ve mentioned that being full of yourself is a turn off, and that will never change.  There is no room for complacency on the Good Bad Boy path.  As soon as you think you’ve ‘arrived’, you need to take stock of your attitude.  Humility is the only attitude to have, and when that is coupled with sexual confidence, you have a combination that is irresistible to many, many women.  Besides, it’s much more fun to think that there are unlimited sensual delights out there waiting for you to discover, and you’ll never find them all! 


Simply take on a very basic mindset that was touched on earlier in this book, and one that many spiritual teachers advocate.  Be focused on the journey, and all the rewards that you’ll uncover along the way.  Good Bad Boys already know there is no ‘destination’ or ‘finish line’; all the satisfaction and fulfillment comes from the process, from all that you experience and gather along the way.  You never want to be so blasé that you really feel you’ve ‘been there and done that’ sexually.  That would be a bore.  There is always something new and exciting awaiting you, whether you’ve just started this process or have been in a committed relationship for years. 


It all comes from a humble attitude, and knowing the world out there is a whole lot bigger than you are.  If you truly acquire this refreshing take on things, most days will feel like there is some great new surprise out there waiting, and it’s the difference between living a full life and merely existing.  You have the choice, so which one do you prefer?

Good Bad Boy Tip #12

Honoring the relationships you’ve committed to will always take priority.  There may be the rare instance where your current girlfriend has no problem with this, or may even want to get to know your old flame. 

Don’t count on it though, the far majority of the time ‘exes’ are less than welcome.  Keeping the women you currently or previously have been involved with separated from each other is a very safe and healthy habit.