Humility is Hot

As a Good Bad Boy, you will have special knowledge and skills, it will almost seem like you are privy to the most obvious secret in the world that is right under every guy’s nose.  However, that does not give you license to flaunt it or act like you’re better than every guy out there. 


We’ve mentioned that being full of yourself is a turn off, and that will never change.  There is no room for complacency on the Good Bad Boy path.  As soon as you think you’ve ‘arrived’, you need to take stock of your attitude.  Humility is the only attitude to have, and when that is coupled with sexual confidence, you have a combination that is irresistible to many, many women.  Besides, it’s much more fun to think that there are unlimited sensual delights out there waiting for you to discover, and you’ll never find them all! 


Simply take on a very basic mindset that was touched on earlier in this book, and one that many spiritual teachers advocate.  Be focused on the journey, and all the rewards that you’ll uncover along the way.  Good Bad Boys already know there is no ‘destination’ or ‘finish line’; all the satisfaction and fulfillment comes from the process, from all that you experience and gather along the way.  You never want to be so blasé that you really feel you’ve ‘been there and done that’ sexually.  That would be a bore.  There is always something new and exciting awaiting you, whether you’ve just started this process or have been in a committed relationship for years. 


It all comes from a humble attitude, and knowing the world out there is a whole lot bigger than you are.  If you truly acquire this refreshing take on things, most days will feel like there is some great new surprise out there waiting, and it’s the difference between living a full life and merely existing.  You have the choice, so which one do you prefer?

Good Bad Boy Tip #12

Honoring the relationships you’ve committed to will always take priority.  There may be the rare instance where your current girlfriend has no problem with this, or may even want to get to know your old flame. 

Don’t count on it though, the far majority of the time ‘exes’ are less than welcome.  Keeping the women you currently or previously have been involved with separated from each other is a very safe and healthy habit.

The Most Important Destination

One of the most significant goals you will strive for as a Good Bad Boy is to secure a special place in the heart of women you are involved with, regardless of what the commitment level is.  Men mistakenly have the notion that it’s ‘all or nothing’ with women, that you’re either emotionally aloof, just a ‘friend with benefits’ or completely committed and monogamous.  Women cover much more of a spectrum emotionally and what they are looking for can cover a very wide range, so don’t assume anything, just let it be revealed to you. 

What matters is that you act like a secure, confident man around a woman, particularly in regard to sexual matters.  If you are forthright throughout, regardless of the level of involvement, you will always be held in a fond regard by a woman, and this is a worthy goal.  Most of the time it is the very simple idea of being a decent fellow and by now this should be standard operating procedure to you.  You’re not (hopefully) a jerk to your guy friends – so give the women in your life the same benefit, and you’ll gain much more than you expect. 

Developing a relationship with the woman that you’ve been intimately involved with into a close confidant and friend is a rare and special situation.  You can have someone who knows you in a unique way, and be able to offer counsel and suggestions that come from a place that your other pals will never be able to approach.  You will always be adored by this woman on some level, and adoration by a woman is a very worthy accomplishment that most men do not achieve, much less appreciate. 

This is a special reward for being a Good Bad Boy, over time you may have several women that you can rely on for a special perspective on things, and their take on your life is something, like all input from your support network, to be valued and considered.  It is a unique friendship and one that has a special level of trust, as well as a level of connection that will always be there.  Cultivating these long term friendships, with or without the sexual component to them, is well worth the effort.  The only caveat is that over time people do get involved in more committed relationships and an old lover’s new boyfriend may not appreciate your ‘special’ friendship, or you may have a new committed relationship and she may feel uncomfortable with a past flame as well.

Being True to You

With a bit of time you will know your partner better and have an idea of what works sexually and where to explore and where not to.  Obviously communication is the key to all this or it will take much longer than necessary to uncover important facts.  Some of this is trial and error, getting the balance between being a nice guy and being a naughty seducer that women want to succumb to takes practice and is different with every woman.  Considering the rewards, this practice is time well spent, and it’s not exactly an onerous task.  The best attribute you can exercise to further your goal is to be patient.  We’ve discussed this earlier, but it can’t be overstressed.


In the big picture a Good Bad Boy is trying to act on his feelings and go from the ‘inside out’ as opposed to reacting to whatever stimuli is coming at him.  As earlier stated, Nature always exists in balance, and you are to do the same.  It will take a little time to properly juxtapose your inner Nice Guy with the Good Bad Boy, but it will come in time.  The only way is to do it, and you will be very surprised at how open your partner will be if you’ve provided a safe and respectful environment for her.  The biggest challenge men have had to face in the past 40 or so years is the contradiction of women wanting to be treated as equals in every aspect of the everyday world – which is appropriate and desired – and the fact that many women look to be guided by a strong male presence when it comes to physical intimacy.  It has proven to be an impossible chasm for most men, and the only way to bridge it is to have the Nice Guy and the Good Bad Boy know their places and call on them when the time is right. 


Despite the appearance that this is all very mysterious and difficult to intellectualize, at least from a male perspective, if you show a woman you are involved with that she is important, you will avoid many difficulties.  These are basic rules that have been already discussed, but you may have already forgotten them!  Be attentive, caring, nurturing, and make the woman you are with feel like she’s number one with you, even if your mutual understanding of your relationship is casual and non-committal.  Being present and reliable, and having your words be consistent with your actions, will enable you to avoid having the ‘Player’ label slapped on you.  Good Bad Boys never want to be called that, even in a ribbing manner, the undertone of the Player definition implies that you are only interested in having sex with a woman and that all the other important aspects that round everything out to a fulfilling experience are of no importance. 


It is imperative that you avoid being viewed in these terms at all costs.  If a woman feels you are really a Player, she will keep you at arms length, because Players are just simply Bad Boys, despite all the sugar and charm they may pour over on a woman they’re trying to seduce.  Players often times are selfish jerks that border on misogynists.  Have your actions and how a woman views and feels about you be as far away from the Player label as possible.  If you shortcut any of the topics we discussed up to this point, you run the risk of being viewed in these very unpleasant terms.  Don’t stray from the Good Bad Boy path.