Good Bad Boy Tip #9

What is so difficult for most men to grasp here is how to drive the situation forward, yet stay out of making the decision, or forcing the issue.  

The crucial idea to be aware of is that in reality, sex will happen only when a woman is ready for it, and not any sooner.  This is how it always should be, and is the only way a Good Bad Boy will have it anyway, because he knows at that point everyone is going to get what they really want. 

This is a key point in the evening, and the perfect time to let go of any preconceived expectations. 

You have already had a flirty, sexy dinner with a very attractive woman, so you’re ahead of the game.  If you expect more, it will come across to her in some manner or word and sooner or later and she will resent the expectation of sex, as any woman would and should. 

A Good Bad Boy is generous and gives without any expectation of sexual recompense.  He has no reason to, and takes all the pressure off a guy feeling he has to get something back on his investment of time and effort. 

The reason why is a Good Bad Boy already knows how to make that happen, he is skilled at how to have a woman reach the level of her wanting to have sex with him.

Temperature Rising

Although it may feel like years will pass before dinner ends, it will end soon enough, and then be a good host and collect all the dishes and such and throw them in the wash sink, dishwasher, garbage, wherever your dishes go, and get on to the next phase.  This is where things will get to be more fun, and you get to emerge as a Good Bad Boy.  It is now time for dessert!

Once you have the dinner plates out of the way, or if you’ve been out to dinner, make sure you get close to her as you ask the next question.  Look her straight in the eyes, and in a playful, but leading manner, ask her what she wants for dessert.  Don’t be cheesy about it, just straightforward, and flirtatious.  You’ve sent a volley her way; let’s see what she does with it. 

Now, a Good Bad Girl (that’s another book) will usually come back with the simple reply of ‘You’ or something along those lines or even better just kiss you first.  If you get either of those responses, consider yourself very lucky and move to the next phase of the evening.  However, as often is the case, you’ll lead the way, and build the fire.  She may actually want a real dessert, so have some chocolate concoction on hand, or order what she wants from the waiter as soon as possible.  Let’s assume that to not be the case and she’ll probably defer to you as to what to have for dessert, and of course, your response will be an emphatic ‘You!’, at which point you will kiss her purposefully, and do it for an extended period of time.  Then, get the check and find a taxi or get your car as soon as possible and get home – you have chocolate cake waiting at your place.  However, if you were smart enough to make dinner, you can now lead her over to your comfortable couch, where the lighting is low, the music is nice and you can move on to the next part of the evening.

This is where many a man has floundered and fallen.  Here is the tricky area of potentially having sex with a woman, and being the nice guy you’ve always been, you don’t want to do anything too forward, creepy or weird.  However, the conundrum is that a woman will expect you to lead her to the point of sex, but ultimately the decision to move forward will depend on her having a comfort level with you--feeling safe with you--which depends on several factors. 

Inner Clarity

Let’s take a moment here and discuss an important topic that could have a significant impact on what direction the evening goes. 

You can be sure that since your date for the evening has agreed to dinner at your place or wherever the next date location is, she is interested in pursuing things further with you and often with women that can involve an emotional component.  That isn’t the case every single time, blanket statements always are dicey when discussing relations between the sexes, however, it’s a good approach to assume that there is that interest on her part, at least for the moment.  Now it is time for you to check in with yourself on this topic.  Women are much better than men as far as being in touch with how they feel, generally they’ll know if they want to sleep with a man within a few minutes (not that they would do it that quickly, silly, they connect on a deeper level) but this is an important time to consider where you are with this person in this regard. 

This isn’t about making a decision on marriage or anything as far-reaching as that, but you should have a sense at this point if the woman coming over for dinner is someone you’d like to date on a regular basis or you feel this will be a more physical, ‘friends with benefits’ type of situation.  Just spend some time with that thought, and get in touch with how you feel.  Once you have a good sense, file the information away.  You’ll need to remember it later, maybe even later this evening.

This thought process is important because it will help to differentiate between being a Good Bad Boy and being a Loser.  Women love a Good Bad Boy and they loathe a Loser.  It is vital you know what the differences are, as they may not be that obvious.  Some of the differences have been touched upon earlier, but as things progress between a man and a woman, the stakes get higher and higher, and it is important to be more diligent on this topic as things intensify.  We’ll get back to all this in just a short while.

So, at this point let the evening progress naturally, be comfortable and yourself, relax and let things flow.  Where many men get tripped up is having a big fat agenda in their heads, and letting it run the show.  Yes, we all know there is an agenda there, and she is aware of it as well as anyone else.  The important concept is to put it aside and not let it interfere.  Just relax, chat and act totally as if your intentions are as pure as the driven snow.  Obviousness is not sexy almost all of the time.  Get to know this person, show genuine interest and deepen the initial connection you’ve both established and progress it to the next level.  Expand on the subjects you spoke of the last time, and spend time getting a sense and feel of the woman you’re entertaining.  Take pleasure in the evening by staying in the moment, enjoying your dinner and being engaged in interesting conversation.  There is no substitute for practice, so just get in there, and start listening, asking those questions, building on the earlier concepts we spoke of.  Keep being flirtatious, smile and stay connected. 

The Power of Your (In)Actions

Now, please don’t become all full of yourself because you have a sexy, attractive woman coming over your place for dinner, and you think the cat is in the bag.  You have a lot of challenging, hard work ahead of you, and your choices will determine how relations between the two of you will progress--or not. 

Your job now is to create a totally seductive evening, and that means making favorable impressions on all her senses.  Your place has to look good, smell good--do your laundry- the dinner you cook should be tasty as well.  Don’t pick anything exotic or gamey or raw seafood, keep it simple and within your skills; chicken and pasta dishes are always a good idea. 

In asking her over for dinner, you were sharp enough to ask if she has a favorite dish, and assuming it’s not too difficult and soufflés are not involved, go ahead and make it.   Unobtrusive music will help with the aural aspects of the evening, and lastly, but most importantly, you save the touching and feeling for later.

Plan everything ahead of time leading up to her arrival. Making a nice, but simple meal will help, as complicated dinners with lots of moving parts are difficult to coordinate, and the last thing you want is her showing up while you’re trying to tame a culinary monster.  However, you do want to show off a little, so save the last parts of cooking dinner for when she’s there so she can see you at work in the kitchen. 

Women love seeing a guy doing the work in the kitchen, they often spend a lot of time there, so it’s fun for her to do the watching and be waited on for a change.  All you need to remember is her seeing you handling things in the kitchen will continue to add to your attraction factor.  Hand her a cocktail or glass of wine as you finish your cooking chores and ask her how her day was, and engage in conversation.