Why Is It That Men Have No Clue What Women Really Want In A New Partner?

In the past I would always be dumbfounded by how the lovely, sexy women that I knew in my life would always seem to end up in relationships with bad guys that I knew weren't very good - not the caring, respectful guy that I was! I was a decent, attractive enough guy, but never could seem to easily get the intimate attentions of women.

I started asking the women I knew about this and they spoke of the allure and raw attraction of a Bad Boy, but how treacherous they were to deal with due to their general emotional unavailability, among other unsavory attributes.

I spent a lot of time after that pushing back the boundaries of my Nice Guy and letting the Bad Boy inside me get much more presence in intimate situations - experimenting - which was a revelation to me with wonderful results with women. It became obvious after a short while that there was a huge gap between men who were Nice Guys and those who were Bad Boys.

Why You're Clueless

Let’s be fair, most men never had any kind of an effective sexual mentor in their formative years to provide the elusive Rosetta Stone of Women. Some had an evolved sister or mother sit down and try to explain what relating with girls would be all about. While this may sound ideal, masculinity, not fostered at least partly by a male mentor, will flounder, as will this man’s efforts at engaging women in a confident manner.

Other unfortunate souls have suffered a time honored rite of passage - the oppressive ‘birds and bees’ talk with a Neanderthal Dad. Many times this talk trumpets the merits of being a “man’s man” and not to be too emotional or sensitive. Unfortunately, this could resurface years later in the form of emotional unavailability, lack of communication of feelings and other difficulties stemming from a general bewilderment on how to act around the female half of the population.

Worst of all is the “classroom on the corner,” where the collective sexual unconsciousness of the neighborhood boys conspire to thwart any possibility of evolving a young male’s sensual awareness to any healthy degree. Here all the rumors, innuendo, myths and urban legends involving girls that have been gleaned from media stereotypes have significant sway. Music videos, men's magazines, television and film, soft and hardcore pornographic magazines and videos as well as other sources continue to foster an unrealistic standard of women’s looks, appearance and sexuality.

With this as a source of sexual education, it’s easy to see where boys physically grow into men, yet often remain boys emotionally when it comes to dealing with their female counterparts.

So, where does a clueless guy go from here?